The Present Future of Youth Ministry: New Ideas and Methods for What's Coming
What should youth ministry look like today and what will it look like in 2020? Culture is changing by the second and the issues students are dealing with are like no other generation before them. So how do we respond? And are we actually willing to adapt? Are we willing to change our youth ministry methods and truly care for the hearts, minds, and souls of our students and then do the work that's not currently being done? This insightful course will be fun, interactive, and will dig into the past, current, and future youth ministry trends. We will explore the current state of teenage spirituality, and share new ideas you can easily apply in your ministry setting.
Let’s start with their life. What are the defining characteristics of the life of today’s teens. I believe all of these have implications for ministry.
1. Wired and anywhere but here… not present.
This is a totally wired generation. It affects the way they think, relationships, communication, learning, attention span, and processing of information. Did you realize that the internet is only about 4,000 days old but has changed everything.
*Kids answering cell phones during school Joke
*20 minutes at camp is a challenge
87% use the internet daily
84% own either a laptop a PDA or a Cell Phone 44% have two or more
They send as many as 4000 text messages a month
They watch 35 movies for every 1 book they read.
They buy approximately 40 songs a month on itunes
They don’t watch a lot of tv and if they do it is tivo’d
Social networking cites are a preferred way of communication and self-expression
Their world is very mobile and fast
High Tech and Cool are synonymous. Their technology is an extension of themselves
What does this mean when it comes to how, when and where we CONNECT with teens? Maybe we should start a Halo-Driven youth group instead of Purpose driven.
How does this affect how we teach? Their ability to read a book say the Bible?
2. Overscheduled and Treasured
These students have no time unfilled. Their day begins at 5am and often doesn’t end till after midnight. The play on three teams at once while taking college prep courses and working 20 hours a week at Hollister. They are truly busy and can’t imagine being anything else. All the while their parents applaud this pace of life as a way to keep my kid out of trouble.
“We are distracted from our distractions by our distractions-T.S. Eliot”
Church attendance drops by almost 50% by the age of 18. Too many things on their plate and church is usually first to go.
The days of getting them out to programs multiple days of the week are long gone. Maybe getting them out at all.
Oswald Chambers writes in My Upmost… “The greatest enemy of a life of faith is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best.”
In Florida we have seasonal senior citizens we call them snowbirds. I bet your youth groups have “Seasonal” teens. These are students that disappear from group depending on the season. Band season, soccer season, SAT season. You get the picture.
It’s not just teens…
Adults might think that kids’ lives are carefree and full of free time; however, a recent KidsHealth® KidsPoll shows that kids have quite a different opinion. Of the 882 kids ages 9 to 13 who were polled, 41% report feeling stressed most of the time or always because they have too much to do.
Number one reason they feel disconnected from God is busyness
What does this mean for how we program? If we program? What we work with parents on?
Maybe the church in the future becomes a place of rest and restoration.
Can anyone say “Sabbath”
This is the trophy case effect. Teens are the trophies of their parents lives, often parents live through their children. They are often coddled and over protected. This even ends up extending adolescence in the mid-20’s with increasing amount of young people living with their parents.
They have also been protected from failure and hopped up on self-esteem.
Employers are encountering problems with this generation entering the work force. They wanted to be coddled, constantly affirmed and free from criticism as workers as if they were at home.
Maybe youth ministry in the future will go until 25? How does this truth affect discipleship?
Increasing amount of admissions officers at colleges who get letters from parents whose students have been turned down from their college saying “See you in court..”
3. Abandoned
In the book A Generation Alone one of the authors worked with Vietnam Vets recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Author William mahedy writes about college students he works who show many of the same symptoms. He explains that such high percentages of young people have endured traumas of abandonment due to divorce, psychological or sexual abuse as children, rape as a young woman, overexposure to media violence and sexual expoitation. Mahedy says, “I can find no other explanation for the widespread problems with stability, self-image, feelings of emptiness, depression, suicidal thinking, fear of the future, and lack of hope among the young.” He goes on to say,”Abandonment is the fundamental component of these generational disorders…the young have been abandoned by parents, loved ones, teachers, political leaders, even the culture itself. No one is really ‘there’ for them now…More than any of their predecessors, they have been since birth a generation alone.”
Research has shown that this is both systematic and personal
“We know how to entertain them, market to them, test them, drive them places, and statistically measure them. But we’ve forgotten how to be with them. As a result today’s youth have become more and more isolated, alienated and left to fend for themselves within the molesting arms of the corporate media culture.” It is the conclusion of every major study on adolescence in the last 15 years.
Chap Clark in his book Hurt says, “We have evolved to the point where we believe driving them in a car somewhere is support, being active is love, and providing any and every opportunity is selfless nurture. We are a culture that has forgotten how to be together. We have lost the ability to spend unstructured down time.” We have abandoned them to institutions to busyness, to our need as adults to feel good about ourselves.
"No society that alienates its youth and sets them adrift can continue to exist for it is already in a state of collapse."
-Chap Clark
Long for connection but have been programmed for aloneness
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
4. Passionate
John grew up in a tolerant, wealthy, multicultural area of San Francisco
He grew up Presbyterian
He played basketball in the driveway
Listened to hip-hop and rap
He was at sixteen passionate about his faith
He had several older men take an interest in him when he was eighteen. They mentored him and helped him grow in his faith.
He even attended summer camp to grow in his faith and find the purpose for his life.
He was looking for something worth dying for. Something with passion
He is a successful youth ministry story
You know John as John Walker Lindh, An American Al-Qaeda operative. He was arrested in Afghanistan in 2002. Who can blame him? Somebody gave him something to be passionate about something worth dying for.
“Teenagers are heat seeking missles, they’re drawn to fire. They yearn for experiences that will channel their passions. And by and large they are not detecting many signs of life in the church”
-cuyler black
Teens are wired for passion. Passion that overwhelms them. This is not just sexual passion but a passion for whatever they are doing and into.
They are even passionate about being apathetic??
Another contributing factor is increasing immigration. Cultures mesh. Immigration issue may be the main issue for the net 20 years.
Maybe we should have a global youth group? Should youth ministry be more cultural sensitive?
5. Starbucks Spirituality
Teen spirituality is personalized and often a pick and choose proposition. It is like ordering at Starbucks. I’ll take a grande-carmel-Kabbalah Latte with a shot of Buddhism and a Hindu Krishna cookie on the side.
Christian Smith described the prevailing faith practiced in America as Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. Basically Be Good, Feel Good, God is Wallpaper.
LA LA LAND LYRICS
The question isn't whether it's true
The question- "Is it working for you?"
Marshmellow Skies
And custardy pies
And nothing's too hard to do
They're five happy verses or so
They told me all I needed to know
Ignore all the rest
Trials and tests
And threats to my comfort zone
Well I've got no time to find out what's real
I stick with what I happen to feel
It feels grand
When you're livin' in lala land
39% prayed regularly within the last 30 days
24% had told a friend about their religious beliefs
14% read the Bible regularly
69% said they believed Christ died for their sins
48% had been to a religious service in the last month
Spiritual Growth is more of a draw than shallow youth ministry
Barna group recently polled non-christians age 16-29 and asked
What is your perception of Christianity?
91% said anti-homosexual
87% said judgemental
85% said hypocritical
78% said old-fashioned
75% said too involved with politics
72% out of touch with reality
70% said insensitive to others
3% have a favorable view of evangelicals
Barna Group also says that most teenagers ride out their teen years in fruitless experimentation rather than genuine forms of spiritual development.
Faith is rarely a public thing. Separation of church and everything
6. Consumeristic
They have been heavily marketed to and it shows yet they reject overly slick (inauthentic) content and messages.
They just don’t buy a product they buy an experience
They will buy what their friends buy
They want active interaction not just passive purchasing
44% say music defines them beating out family by 5%
Spiritual growth is even often seen as personal satisfaction not Kingdom advancement
Have we made youth ministry just another product they consume? How do we market our youth ministries?
Do we come across as inauthentic? Overly slick? Do we pull a bait and switch on them?
7. Shallow
The American Society of Plastic Surgeons claim that teenagers (13-19) underwent 244,124 cosmetic surgery procedures in 2006 that had doubled since 2002. That included 47,000 nose jobs and 9,000 breast augmentation. The boob job is the new 16th birthday present.
HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED MY SUPER SWEET 16
PEW Research Center on the goals of Gen X (26-40yr olds) vs. the goals of Gen Next (18-25yr olds). The results are disturbing. So below I have put the statistics and a few comments.
Goals for life of Gen X & Gen Next:
Get Rich (Gen X-62% :: Gen NExt-81%) Having lots of money continues to be the top priority. Students have bought the lie that wealth makes all things better. Notice this isn't just "Be Comfortable" anymore but is "Get Rich". You can never have enough!
Become Famous (Gen X-29% :: Gen Next-51%) This is really sad. Obviously Reality TV has everyone believeing they can be famous. Unbelieveable that over half of young people's life goal is to be famous! There is going to be a lot of disappointed people. I guess they will just have to drink more to get over it. Or be a legend in their own mind.
Help People (Gen X-36% :: Gen Next-30%) What happened to young people being so into service. The numbers keep declining as it becomes increasingly all about ME!
Be Community Leaders (Gen X-33% :: Gen Next-22%) Didn't surprise me. Young people continue to give up on institutions.
Become more Spiritual (Gen X-31% :: Gen Next-10%)
8. Creative
If it’s not creative it isn’t worth doing.
Teens are web designers, video editors, music producers, movie makers, record producers, artists, actors, dancers, entrepreneurs, computer programmers. business owners and video game developers.
They seek freedom and low structure and interesting work
Do we harness this in ministry? We have tons of talent sitting in our youth groups waiting to be unleashed.
Maybe the new outreach is just giving kids outlets to showcase their creativity.
9. Medicated & Addicted
Have you been on a retreat lately and had to collect medications.
Wife as nurse at Surf City.
A new report from the American Psychological Association finds the number of kids and teens taking medication for problems like depression, anxiety, and A-D-H-D has skyrocketed over the last 10 years by five fold. The biggest issue is that most of the drugs were tested only in adults and they're being prescribed to kids "off-label."
90% of world’s use of Riddlin is in the united states
The average age when youth first try alcohol is 11 years for boys and 13 years for girls. The average age at which Americans begin drinking regularly is 15.9 years old.
It has been estimated that over three million teenagers are out-and-out alcoholics. Several million more have a serious drinking problem that they cannot manage on their own.
The three leading causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds are automobile crashes, homicides and suicides -- alcohol is a leading factor in all three.
Addiction and substance abuse has a different face in this generation. It is not just the druggies and burn outs.
Sammantha Spady, a 2003 graduate of Beatrice (Neb.) High School was an artist and involved in student government. She was a cheerleading captain, senior class vice president, a member of the National Honor Society and homecoming queen.
She was found dead in a fraternity house at Colorado State this fall with a blood alcohol level 5 times higher than legally drunk. She was 19.
The average age of first marijuana use is 14 and it is the most prevalent drug used by teens and young adults
Prescription drugs, LSD, Meth and Ecstasy on the rise
"It’s not just the skid row wino, the corner drug pusher, or the college frat drunk that’s medicating their problems regarding the pain of existence, it’s also those who are wealthy and respectable enough to have their physician and friendly neighborhood pharmacist supply them with a little escape from reality in a little legal bottle." -Gordon Venturella
10. Tolerant
Tolerance above truth. They truly are in many ways the first relativistic generation. Many have strong beliefs but don’t see those beliefs as more valid than someone else’s beliefs.
They are the leading supporters of gay marriage, immigration, outsourcing of jobs, affiliate more with the democratic party etc.
So there you have a snapshot of the teen culture. It has multiple implications for ministry and how we relate with these young people.
The longings of a generation
1. Longing to be trusted
Teens believe elders see them as unpredictable and irresponsible, yet they want to be taken seriously
Trust=Freedom to them
They are confused about life and who will journey with them and help them figure it out or who is worthy of their trust.
They are looking for models of trust
2. Longing to be understood and loved
Feel adults don’t understand them. Many times they are right.
Dwight and Pam clip
Looking for someone to listen & love them
Love is time, commitment,touch, words, gifts, support
Henri Nouwen said…”The real question is not “What can we offer each other?” but “Who can we BE for each other?”
3. Longing to feel safe and secure
92.1 percent of teens told gallup security is very important
4 in 10 teens believe that they will have a gun fired at them in their lifetime
*911 group to memorial
Need to feel safe where they go to school and live. Increasingly this is becoming a problem.
79% of Americans say in one survey the number one problem in America is father absence
Donald Millers to Own a Dragon…
-63 % of youth suicides are from fatherless homes... 5x the average (US Dept. of Health)
-85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes... 20x the average (Center for Disease Control)
-80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes... 14x the average (Justice & Behavior, vol. 14, p. 403-26)
-71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes... 9x the average (National Principals Association Report)
-75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes... 10x the average (Rainbows for All God's Children)
-70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes... 9x the average (US Dept. of Justice)
-85% of all youths in prison came from fatherless homes... 20x the average (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Corrections)
4. Longing to believe life is meaningful and has purpose
Teenagers long to be a part of a grand story. Their hearts crave to be characters in a story that matters—one with creative design, passionate characters, and a noble mission.
George Gallup says:
“America’s teenagers see themselves contributing to a better world in the new century upon us—a world with less racial discrimination, a world more concerned about the needs of the less fortunate, a world that is less polluted and more caring about the environment, a more peaceful world with fewer wars and armed conflicts. And finally teenagers see themselves contributing to a world of new hope and sense of purpose.”
5. Longing to be listened to and to be heard
Looking for places to share their thoughts are we there
Looking for places and people where they can test their feelings and thoughts against.
Goodwill Hunting Clip
James tells us to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.”
6. Longing to belong and be valued
Biggest fear of adolescents is being alone.
Curt Schooley example
One church captures this in their values “We value a firm commitment to the building of friendships rather than just being friendly”
7. Longing to be uniquely me
Teens long to be loved as they are—trying to figure out what that is
To express their unique selves. Their web pages are an extension of their identity
Ephesians tells us we are God’s masterpiece-poemia
We Need to Make Some Moves
Youth culture has changed but youth ministry models and structures have stayed the same
The biggest problem in youth ministry is the existence of “Sacred cows” that were formulated by adults in the past 40 years. We have always underestimated teens and their values as a rule. In doing so, we have shaped our ministry around what we thought were the priorities of young people, but have clearly missed the mark. Basically when we started to reach kids with the gospel the result was the cultural conversion of the church, not the creation of young revolutionaries (Pete Ward; Colonizing the Adult Church). We can clean up our act, but first we have to identify the church’s norms. There are things that we have been doing forever, seemingly, that have led the church down a road, an impotent road.
Pastors today were youth pastors in the 80’s and 90’s and they want us to run their old programs – but youth culture has changed…
And Youth Culture is about Movement so our ministries must move with them in order to speak to the rising generations.
I Chronicles 12:32
“Men of Issachar, who understood the times and knew what God’s people should do.”
“The perception of the new step will come only to those brave enough to stop dancing the old.”
Are we reading the times yet at the same time staying rooted in the mission of Jesus.
I am reminded of the book Jim and Casper Go to Church where an atheist and a pastor attend many of America’s “top” churches and then right about their experiences. Matt Casper the Atheist has one question over and over again after his experiences at these churches. “Is this what Jesus told you guys to do?”
So with that in mind here are some thoughts.
Were youth ministry needs to move to…
1. Programs to People
“In good youth ministry, you go where students are, you don’t have students come to you. So many churches still operate on a model where, you try to do a really good program so people will come to it. The issue becomes when you stop at the program, or you think that by moving people through programs you have introduced them to Jesus or have impacted their life. Programs should be a means, one of the steps, not the goal.”-Tic Long
Most of us are so busy “Feeding the Monster” of youth ministry programs that we really don’t spend anytime really building relationships.
What if we had no big weekly program? Wouldn’t we have more time for relationships?
2. Attractional to Missional
Much is being said about the Missional church.
What is it? Simply.
Missional Church is the church building the kingdom of God in all settings within the culture. Every member is involved. We go to them not build the right events and buildings for them to come to us.
Represent and extend the reign of Jesus…
Tale of Two Pubs
Church in America is :
Attractional
Dualistic- separation of church and everything else
Hierarchical
Church as it should be:
Missional/Incarnational
Messianic
Decentalized – we’ll come to that later
What does a Missional Youth Ministry look like?
1. Programming and Money is directed outward
1. Cutback on programs leaving space for living
2. Giving away of resources
3. Spiritual formation is a rhythm a way of life
4. No barriers between sacred and secular
5. Passionate activists
This will give room for you to actually do ministry in the city and involve your students with you. “Hey, you want to come with me to feed the homeless?”
What if your kids schools activities were your youth groups activities?
3. Centralized to Decentralized
We must ditch the model of a superstar speaker, singer, educator, and shepherd. No one should be seen as the fount of wisdom on all topics. Decentralization puts everyone center stage.
The world is decentralizing. Information and Power is decentralizing. What happens when people are in an “open” system where no one is really in charge? Just look at these examples of open system thinking.
Wikipedia-everyone contributes, people police it, debate what goes up
Craigslist-Who is Craig? What does he do? Helps customers who pay him nothing
Alcoholics Anonymous-Nobody owns AA
Starfish and the Spider
Spider
Has multiple legs
One head that controls everything
Cut off the head what happens
Starfish
Totally decentralized, no central head
Major organs in each arm
Cut it in two it will grow into two starfish.
In order to move one arm must convince the other four it is a good idea
A decentralized organization stands on five legs
Decentralize yourself into parents and volunteers and student leaders.
4. One-Eared-Mickey-Mouse to Fully Integrated
The old stat that 80% of students who grow up in the church, when they graduate from college never return to the church – is alarming. Recent research this trend is actually growing. This sacred cow can get a lot of the credit for our kids losing their faith.
When we say, “one-eared-mickey-mouse,” we mean that the face of mickey is the church and youth ministry is the one ear. We have our own mission trips, camps and retreats, weekly programs, small groups, etc… And so kids never see themselves as part of a multi-generational group of believers who are called to change their city, serve their city, and live life together – living life the way it was always meant to be lived. They graduate from sr high never having been assimilated and integrated into the body of Christ and so they feel abandoned and like they’ve graduated from church. Our ministries must be fully integrated and we must collaborate with other ministries in the church helping our students define themselves and see themselves by the reality that they are the body of Christ. That they are an integral part of this church family.
5. Big to Small
In the name of Jesus I release from numbers driven ministry…
Friend – youth group is growing and he feels so good about himself.
Numbers are good for two things: making money and job security and neither has anything to do with the gospel of Jesus. Maybe the “attract” ministry concept is one of the major contributing factors to our students shallow faith, a faith they lose anyways when they head off to college.
Now before I piss too many people off, we do want to take the gospel to our students’ friends. We want to create an environment where kids feel safe to invite their friends. But what have we sacrificed in the process? It’s one thing if we grow because revival is taking place in the hearts and minds of our students and it’s bleeding over to their friends. Its another thing to feel good about ourselves because we doubled the youth group in the past year – like this is our goal. What should our goal be? What should our purpose be? Do we have a mission?
Why are kids walking out the back door as soon as the receive their diploma? Because we’ve been so consumed in America with numbers and that numbers driven mentality breeds shallow believers. God forgive us! So you have a program that’s fun, cool, and very attractive = shallow – this will not produce radical followers of Jesus.
6. Salvation to the Way of Jesus
Scenerio: Salvation message being about getting into Heaven. So when they accept Jesus – they’re done. They did it. Why don’t kids grow in their faith? Why isn’t their faith active? Because we’ve told them they just have to believe and then they’re in! But this isn’t our faith. This isn’t Christianity.
We must invite kids to be a part of living the gospel – that the Christian life is a mission, a calling to be the hands and feet of Jesus. That Jesus is on the move to change the world and He wants them to join him – no strings attached, no games, no manipulation.
They must know that the way of Jesus actually works. That Christianity not only makes them better people, but that it makes the world a better place. That it cares for widows and orphans and gays and the poor and the rich and the frustrated and the abused the marginalized, and the minorities and their enemies and their friends and their boss and their little sister.
Our faith has nothing to do with being a republican or a democrat but the gospel is about being salt, light, hope, peace, and love.
So what wrongs have we called our kids to right? What injustice in the world have we showed them and how has the passion of Jesus, the overwhelming passion of Jesus called them to fix, to make it just, to go and be his light in a dark place?
Walt Mueller says “What we judge as success is a high number of hands that go up when the invitation is issued, or a high number of feet that walk forward.”
-Teach students about building the Kingdom
Create space for students to learn well, love well and listen well. Teach them to engage the world as a Christ like Person.
The prevalent view by evangelical believers is that the kingdom of God is concerned only about the sinner’s prayer and the person being baptized.
Our definition of disciple must move from the celebration of the moment of conversion to a definition of transformation over time that sees a person and a community transformed.
Evangelism was never meant to be a presentation and the Way of Jesus always leads to suffering.
The old hymn says:
“Must Jesus bear the cross alone,
And all the world go free?
No, there’s a cross for everyone,
And there’s a cross for me.
7. Surface to Broken Places
In Youth Ministry we will be increasingly working with students who are severely broken through increasing family turmoil, abuse, and students dealing with addictions.
Think about it this way in the coming years the average person you will be reaching. One or even two out of six girls you talk to will have been sexually molested, Most will be sexually active and one in four will be suffering from a sexually transmitted disease. Most boys will be struggling with pornography or serious problems with lust. One to two in five will be struggling with a substance abuse.”
We have a tremendous opportunity to teach people how to live in healing, life-giving relationships with one another.
If you saw a Rembrandt painting covered in mud, you wouldn’t focus on the mud or treat it like mud. Your primary concern would not be the mud at all—though it would need to be removed. You’d be ecstatic to have something of such value in your care.
Resources like: Life Hurts God heals are excellent starts on this road of healing
So there is a possible future. Yes it is kind of like predicting the weather. Maybe we are right maybe we are wrong.
“The righteous man is the one who lives for the next generation” –Dietrich bonhoffer
Creating Revolutionaries
Teacher video of Africa missions
1. We need Revolutionary Vision
Lift their head (eyes off see to see others)
A. Nebuchadnezzar
B. David – psalm 3:3
C. Mary and John at the cross
D. Give them a vision to imagine themselves as revolutionaries
1. Dancin (tell me who I am again.)
a. Eisenhower family vision: you are pivotal to the survival of this family-if my family can’t make it without me, neither can my community, etc… (Donald Miller- Dragons)
2. Help them find what makes them angry
a. beautifully angry
3. Mission year
VIDEO - Ron Luce
2. We need Revolutionary Innovation
1. Kids are dying for a life worth living
2. Invisible Children (story)
3. Micro Financing
* give a loan to a person in a 3rd world company for $50 that will help them start a business.
VIDEO - Zach Hunter
We must move beyond charity to development.
A particular interesting report is Scott Cook’s thoughts on Innovation. Scott Cook is founder of Institute, the software company famous for programs such as Quicken, Quickbooks, and Turbo Tax. Highlights include:
- “The goal is to change lives so profoundly that people can’t imagine living without this.”
- “The only way to grow a business is to have customers come back for more and tell their friends.
- “Invention comes from mindset.”
- It is “seeing what everyone else is seeing and yet thinking what no one else has thought.”
- “GO out to your customers first and design from that.”
- “Before you can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes you must first remove your own.”
- Start with the user, then the problem, then design.”
- “Don’t do surveys which reinforce the companies existing mindset, but get into the customer’s actual space.
- “First: make it a great environment for employees, then great for customers, then great for shareholders.”
What can the church learn from this?
1. Create a ministry that leaves an impact. If you “wow” people with how much you care or with a great church experience, you will give them a reason to come back for more and tell their friends.
2. Focus on Jesus not tradition. Avoid a fixed mindset on tradition or any other barriers. Innovation requires a customer oriented mindset. Innovative ministry requires a people oriented mindset.
3. Understand people and their problems. But people change, which means you constantly need to be learning.
4. A great work environment is a key to effective church staff or even volunteer staff. The right environment nurtures creativity and leaves your staff (and your students) happier and more productive. Which is what we want for our students, isn’t it?
E. Zach Hunter
F. Guy in youth group who started feeding the poor in Sacramento
G. 16 year old girl who got all these clothing companies to donate clothes and opened stores where single moms could shop at it
3. We need Revolutionary Heroes
A. Inspire them to continue the work of William Wilberforce
B. Tony Campolo
C. Desmond TuTu
D. Bono
VIDEO CLIP
E. Shane Claiborne – book = The Simple Way
D. Jars of Clay – blood water mission
E. Audio Adrenaline – Haiti
4. We need a Revolutionary You
A. Live out the mission yourself and then call them to join you
B. Poem
THE VISION
By Pete Grieg
The vision?
The vision is Jesus: obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
And the vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army.
And they are free from materialism – they laugh at 9-5 little prisons. They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday they wouldn’t even notice. The know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations, they need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is this vision? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive,
Every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great, “Well Done good and faithful sons and daughters.”
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.
And this army is disciplined – young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier will take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward facing eyes.
Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking,
With warrior cries, sulphuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting.
Watching.
24-7-365.
Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be.
It will come to pass.
It will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God.
My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is His 3-D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great “AMEN!”
From countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ Himself.
And He is the original dreamer,
The ultimate winner.
Guaranteed!
Outward-Facing Youth Ministry that will Transform Your Students and Your Church
There is a problem with today’s youth ministry models, but there is good news about today’s students: they are dying for a life worth living. They want more, they are hungry, and they want to be a part of something that truly has lasting impact.
But what are we giving them? If our youth ministry is truly making a difference in the lives of students, then why are they leaving our churches? In this seminar we will look at Practical ways that will have huge and lasting impact on your life and in the lives of your students.
It’s time to provide students with a ministry that challenges and calls them to a faith worth living. Come to this seminar ready for new approaches, new ideas, and a fresh perspective.
Outward-Facing Youth Ministry that will
Transform Your Students and Your Church
What’s the biggest obstacle in seeing student’s lives transformed?
What’s the biggest obstacle in reaching your city?
a. Kids leaving youth group – cultures influence
b. kids leaving the faith
c. youth group is something to attend its not a movement to belong to
d. youth workers are so busy running church programs they no longer are a viable presence in the schools or the city
When trying to disciple and reach out:
1. Care for the ones God has already entrusted to you.
a. move away from programs and numbers to discipleship and care
make mid week small groups 3 x’s a week
big program 1 x per week
events at the schools (talk about this more later)
b. make sure every student has a dedicated fan…
c. assimilate and integrate students into the church body
youth pastor needs face time
church service needs to be a multi-generational service
lead up…
2. Discipleship happens in the midst of a cause
find a cause
prepare for the cause
do the cause
repeat
Our goal should be to bring the hope of the gospel to every area of our cities.
Our churches (and therefore our youth ministries) cause is to reach the middle school and high school campuses. To reach this generation so that we might through them reach all generations.
Andy Stanley’s church in Atlanta = children…
We’ve got to:
3. Be an outward facing youth ministry and church
Being Salt and Light (Find out the needs in your community)
How?
1. ask
2. listen
3. show up
We tell our kids to be a light on their campuses as WE sit on the sidelines.
Discipleship happens in the midst of a cause and make your cause schools. Why? Your kids are already there – disciple them by reaching their friends and serving their schools.
a. make the schools programs your programs (stop running competing programs)
b. Make their programs a success
c. Collaborate with anyone who cares about youth
d. Serve with no agenda other than to serve (its not about growing your youth group!)
kids are dying for a life worth living. You will reach kids through discipleship…
e. Do ministry of multiplication
student leadership
volunteer revolution (all church philosophy)
interns
start businesses to fund your dreams
6. Big Picture (CHURCH VISION)
this is not just a radical shift that must take place in youth ministry, it must be a radical shift that takes place in the church at large.
Oversexed: Cultures Impact on Students and
How we can give them a Vision for a Better Way
There are great things happening today in the lives of teens. But if you’ve been in youth ministry for sometime you’ve noticed a change in teen sexuality in the last 10 years.
My youth Group… Brandon, Sierra, McKenzie, Cody
Story: student leaders playing lesbian game…
In our own times, American teenagers have unprecedented opportunities to experiment sexually and they are bombarded with cultural messages that encourage sexual experimentation and promiscuity.
In a very real sense, the chickens have come home to roost as this nation faces the inevitable result of a breakdown in sexual morality.
A shocking portrait of the new shape of teenage sexual activity is provided in a cover story published in the February 6, 2006 edition of New York.
CUE In "Love and the Ambisexual, Heteroflexible Teen," Alex Morris introduces us to the "cuddle puddle" of New York City's Stuyvesant High School. Brace yourselves--this is a shocking form of reality therapy.
Morris first introduces his readers to Alair, a sixteen-year-old junior at Stuyvesant High School. Alair is dressed in a tight white tank top that is cut off above the hem in order to expose her midriff. She accessorizes with a black leather belt that features metal chains and studs, and she attracts a great deal of attention as she walks down the halls of her very selective high school.
Alair is on her way to the "cuddle puddle" that takes place during the students' free tenth period of the day. As Morris describes the scene, "There are girls petting girls and girls petting guys and guys petting guys." Alair quickly connects with Jane and Elle, fellow juniors at the high school. "All three have hooked up with each other. All three have hooked up with boys--sometimes the same boys. But it's not that they're gay or bisexual, not exactly. Not always," Morris advises. The boys and girls of the "cuddle puddle" are experimenting with sexuality in all of its varied forms--and this will stretch the imagination of most adults.
The "cuddle puddle" at this New York high school is not fully representative of adolescents across the nation, but it may soon be.
Data released by the National Center for Health Statistics indicates that eleven percent of American girls age fifteen to nineteen reported same-sex sexual encounters.
As Morris explains, "More girls are experimenting with each other, and they're starting younger." Many analysts believe that these numbers are actually under-reported.
One researcher indicates that as many as twenty percentof teenage girls experiment sexually with another girl during their teenage years.
Psychologist John Buss estimates that for most of human history, perhaps 2% of women have been lesbian or bisexual. Not any more. Recent surveys of teenage girls and young women find that roughly 15% of young females today self-identify as lesbian or bisexual, compared with about 5% of young males who identify as gay or bisexual.
Female sexuality is different from male sexuality. If a straight boy kissed another boy, perhaps to amuse some girls who might be watching, he would be unlikely to undergo a change in sexual orientation as a result. But, as Professor Roy Baumeister at Florida State University and others have shown, sexual attraction in many girls seems to be more malleable. If a teenage girl kisses another teenage girl, for whatever reason, and she finds that she likes it - then things can happen, and things can change. If a young woman finds her soulmate, and her soulmate happens to be female, then she may begin to experience feelings she's never felt before.
Teenagers today are more sexual than in recent previous years.
Slightly more than half of American teenagers ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government.
The report release by the National Center for Health Statistics shows that the proportion increases with age to about 70 percent of all 18- and 19-year-olds. That figure is considerably higher for those who also have engaged in intercourse.
Several leaders of organizations that study or work with youth expressed surprise at the level of girls' participation. "You assume that females are more likely to give, males more likely to receive," said Jennifer Manlove, who directs fertility research for the organization Child Trends. "We were surprised that the percentages were similar."
A report by the center nine months ago, based on the same survey, showed that slightly more girls than boys have intercourse before they turn 20. In addition, other national data indicate that the proportion of high school girls who have one-night stands, as well as nonromantic sexual relationships, equals boys.
And Media is Playing a huge Role in All of This
Teens who see and hear a lot about sex in the media may be more than twice as likely to have early sexual intercourse as those who are rarely exposed to sexual content.
A new study shows that 12- to 14-year-olds exposed to the most sexual content in movies, music, magazines, and on television were 2.2 times more likely to have had sexual intercourse when re-interviewed two years later then their peers who had a lighter sexual media diet.
Sexual Entertainment = Sexual Teens
In the study, published in Pediatrics, researchers surveyed more than 1,000 public middle school students in North Carolina when they were 12 to 14 years old and again two years later when they were 14 to 16 years old.
Researchers measured each teen’s sexual media diet by weighting the frequency of exposure to sexual content in four major types of media: TV, movies, music, and magazines. The teens were divided into five equal-sized groups ranging from the lowest exposure to the highest exposure.
The results showed that exposure to sexual content at ages 12-14 increased the risk of early teen sex among teenagers.
In fact, each increase in grouping of sexual content media exposure increased the risk of teen sex by 30 percent.
Another study said that
•Nearly half (46%) of all 15–19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once.[1]
•By age 15, only 13% of never married teens have ever had sex. However, by the time they reach age 19, seven in 10 never-married teens have engaged in sexual intercourse.[1]
•Of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs (sexually transmitted infections) each year, 9.1 million (48%) occur among 15–24-year-olds.[8]
•For the first time since the early 1990s, overall teen pregnancy rates increased in 2006, rising 3%. It is too soon to tell whether this reversal is simply a short-term fluctuation or the beginning of a long-term increase.[9]
[1] Abma JC et al., Teenagers in the United States: sexual activity, contraceptive use, and childbearing, 2002, Vital and Health Statistics, 2004, Series 23, No. 24.
[2] The Alan Guttmacher Institute (AGI), In Their Own Right: Addressing the Sexual and Reproductive Health Needs of American Men, New York: AGI, 2002.
[8] Weinstock H et al., Sexually transmitted diseases among American youth: incidence and prevalence estimates, 2000,Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 2004, 36(1):6–10.
[9] Guttmacher Institute, U.S. Teenage Pregnancies, Births and Abortions: National and State Trends and Trends by Race and Ethnicity, , accessed Jan. 26, 2010.
Parents’ Attitudes Count
Although the study showed that one of the biggest risk factors for early teen sex was the perception that a teen's friends were having sex, researchers say one of the strongest protective factors was parental attitudes about sex.
Both black and white teenagers were less likely to have sexual intercourse by the time they were 16 if they reported that their parents did not approve of them having sex at this age.
Researchers say the results show that while sexual images in the media may influence teen sex, clear communication about sex between parents and their children can also have a major impact on teen sex.
SOURCES: Brown, J. Pediatrics, April 2006; vol 117: pp 1018-1027. News release, American Academy of Pediatrics.
For the first time we are seeing teen sex addicts
Teen sex addiction is difficult for parents and youth workers to deal with -- and it is becoming more prevalent in today's teen culture.
Sex addicts have gone mainstream… CUE – which normalizes it…
Ninety percent of 8-16 year-olds report having viewed pornography
online while doing homework, with 15-17 year olds having the highest
rate of multiple exposures to "hard core porn" material. Many teens send
sexual photos via cell phone, engage in "sex texting", and have unsafe
sex with multiple partners. These behaviors can become more
compulsive, frequent, and obsessive. Adolescent sexual
"experimentation" can escalate into activities and habits that are
uncontrollable, shaming, or abusive.
Definition of "Addiction"
"Addiction" may be defined as any behavior that is used to produce gratification, escape from internal discomfort and/or can be engaged in compulsively.
Three characteristic findings of any addictive disorder are the following:
• Compulsivity, that is, loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or to continue.
• Continuation of the behavior despite adverse consequences, such as loss of health, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, poor school or job performance and compromised relationships.
• Obsession - the addict is obsessed with their addiction and generally places more importance on the addiction than they do on other areas of their lives.
Story: Calvin
We know that family is having a huge impact on the lives of students – and you look at the family dynamics and what s happening is alarming.
Stories
Student leaders playing the lesbian game
McKenzie
Other Key Reasons for Sexual Experiementation
1. Students are saying they do it to Numb the Pain
hurting culture
they just want someone to hold them and say everything will be ok.
2. They Live a Compartmentalized Existence with no understanding of the Whole
Eastern Faith
3. They have no Vision for the Future
They are living for the now
4. They don’t believe the Hype that it will hurt their Futures
Everyone’s done it…
All their parents and youth workers have done it all and they turned out
Lyall Story
5. They have a skewed Understanding of Grace and Forgiveness
If God can forgive me and make me a virgin again, then I might as well just do it anyways…
6. They haven’t been taught to discipline themselves – so they have no self-control
They think they can handle it…
7. They’ve grown addicted to the high of doing something their not supposed to do
8. They Don’t Care
9. The Feel Ruined
What should be our response?
1. Make your ministry a place of healing and restoration
2. Don’t over-react – be that listening ear.
Listen More Preach Less
3. Show how the Gospel and ministry is Dangerous
Dying for a life worth living
4. Give them a Vision for who they are and what their future will be
They need a new story
5. Teach an Eastern holistic view of Life and the Gospel
6. Create Environments for Growth and discipleship
Environment is everything… camps, mission trips, etc… at home…
7. Let Students Lead – positive peer influence is huge here…
8. Create an environment of grace
grace accepts us as we are but it never leaves us as we are.
9. Have focused teaching on hurt and a better way
10. Pray
Transitions, New Positions, and Fresh Starts
I remember being 23 years old and interviewing for my first full time position. I had spoken with at least 15 churches and by the time I began talking with a church in the Los Angeles area, I had the interview thing down pretty good. I knew the questions before they even asked them and I knew how to answer them in a way that was both informative and moving. And so when they offered me the job I was just so thrilled, and excited, and I thought... ready.
But I remember getting into the office on my first day. I remember just sitting there at my desk thinking, "Uh oh, I have no idea what to do now. I could get the job but to actually do the job, well, that was another story. I couldn't know, at that time, what the next year would hold for me, but it was a huge and vital learning experience. So I've compiled a brief list of things that I have gathered and learned over the years that has helped me at the beginning of a new job. Now this is not an exhaustive list - but I hope that it's at least helpful. By the way, today is my first full day of work at Trinity Church in Greenwich, CT. So this is a reminder for me as well.
#1. Take Them Up On It.
When you start a new position, inevitably you'll have an elder or a leader come up to you and say, "we are so glad you're here, if there is ever anything I can do, just let me know." Now I have heard this line so many times but rarely have I ever done anything about it, until about 5 years ago when I was working at my last church. The head elder came up to me and said those magic words. Previously I never did anything about it but for some reason I looked at him and said, "OK, can you get me 100 volunteers?" He said, "pardon me?" "Yeah, can you get me 100 volunteers over the next 3 months?" See, he knew everyone and I knew no one. And I had favor - they loved me, we were still in the honeymoon period and I hadn't screwed up yet - but I had tried getting volunteers in the past and I wasn't so good at it. So I took advantage of the situation and within 3 months he had recruited 120 volunteers for the youth ministry. Amazing! On my own I never would have been able to do that. So number one, take them up on it, whatever "it" is.
#2. Get To Know The Lay Of The Land.
Today I met with an intern who is finishing up the summer and then moving back home in the fall. I just asked him to give me the good, the bad, and the horrible. By the way, there was a lot of horrible... BUT, it's important for me, and you, to get as many perspectives and point of views from as many people as possible. Don't come in with guns blazing without first learning the environment and studying the culture. Be a student of that context, then contextualize the gospel and ministry methods for that specific place (don't carbon copy things you've done in the past - dream new dreams for that new place).
#3. Go After Them.
Get a list of students from the administrator, volunteers, parents, other students and compile it into categories (potential student leaders; occasional attenders; regular crowd students, etc...). Go after the students who are leaders and make either meetings with them in smaller groups or have a few larger group meetings giving them vision and ownership of the ministry (ownership doesn't mean control - it means partnership - if you give students all control, that's what's called abandonment
- too much control by you or by them is abandonment). But, its important that you start building trust and allow God to knit your hearts together with the students. This is a journey, its a mission that you get to go on together.
#4. Volunteer Revolution.
I mentioned in #1 one method for getting volunteers, and you must. PLEASE know this - you must get knew faces, you must keep old faces, and you must clean house a bit (we'll talk more about this on #6). Forget about ratio - get as many adults as you can who love students and Jesus. Get nuns, waiters, college students, the elderly, parents, basket weavers, pilots, lawyers, teachers, rich people, poor people, tall people, little people - ANYONE who loves Jesus and who loves students. You can never have enough adults pouring their lives into our youth.
Fuller Seminary just did a study that followed hundreds of students for four years. What they found was that a student, in order to maintain their faith, needs at least 5 christian adults dedicated and partnering together to develop and love that student through the years. 5 ADULTS! Go after it! But, don't just take anyone and you may need to get rid of some... more on that later.
#5. It's All About Who You Know.
Find out who the key people are in the church. People who love the church, love youth ministry, and have some clout (this might even be the search committee who found you). Maybe form a group of advisors and meet with them once a week. You want them to be your eyes and ears, but also your voice. Your going to need as much support as you can get, especially for step 6.
#6. Blow Stuff Up.
So, this one is controversial. I was taught by my professor and by many who have gone before me that in the first year you shouldn't make any programmatic changes. "Don't do anything too drastic in the first year," they would tell me. But after 20 years of doing this, here is what I have found. No matter what you do, even if you don't change a thing, but just keep running the same old programs you inherited, some people will be unhappy. Why? Because you're not the previous leader. They will say, "I don't like youth group anymore because its all different." You'll think to yourself, "But I haven't changed a thing!"
Know this, it has changed, because a group will get their identity (at least partially) from their leader - and you're not her! So you might as well blow stuff up... graciously and with wisdom. What you'll find out is, many students are longing for change - they're ready for a new start. So get them on board, share the vision, and run. Start over. When you hear, "hey, that's not the way we used to do it." Just respond, "I know, and the way it used to be was amazing, but God is doing something knew and I would love you to help with it." So go blow "s" up.
#7. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
Communicate to parents (meetings and emails and letters), to fellow staff members, to your supervisor, to the pastor, to your mom - basically everyone. You carry the vision, you're the keeper of the play book and plan. Great leaders lead in three ways: down, across, and up. Lead down to the students and volunteers, across to your peers, and up to your supervisors. Lead, give vision, tell why your doing what your doing and ask them to get your back -- and keep doing this non-stop.
Always tell stories, walk and tell the administrator, the janitor, basically everyone - tell them a story of God working in the life of a teenager and how the ministry is seeing awesome things and how they can be praying. Stories, stories, stories. That way, when negative feedback is heard, the people you have carried the vision to and told stories to will say, "hold on, I've heard God's doing amazing things!"
#8. Thick Skin, Loving And Warm Heart, Plus Balls.
Transitions are difficult - for everyone, not just you. You'll need a thick skin for when negative feedback is thrown out - and it will be. Remember who you are and that God's hand is upon you. Don't give people too much power. I worked for a guy who either would make my day or break it. If he liked my work I felt like a million bucks. If he hated it, I felt like crap. Don't give people that much power - remember who you are and how God sees you.
You'll also need a loving and warm heart. Don't forget how much God loves these people - this is why he has called you there. Love them - even the ones who hurt you -- love them. Help them experience the warmth of God by your very presence and words.
And thirdly, you'll need to have balls. Yes I said it - balls. Guts is required for leaders who work in the church (really anywhere though). You'll need to make some tough decisions, maybe ask some leaders to step down, make program changes, dream bigger dreams. This is going to take guts, balls. Big ones.
Numbers - Is this the Measure of Success for Youth Ministry???
Numbers: It's a very interesting topic. It brings out a variety of responses and justifications: Numbers provides us with a measuring stick in seeing how effective we are being; it tells us if kids are happy and being engaged; banks require this of us for non-profit status and for other areas of business; it indicates programatically if we are on track.
These are just a few responses I have heard over the years.
Honestly, I don't want to write a whole bunch on this topic because I think it's completely the wrong starting point. Many youth workers around the country are being fired like never before because of numbers being the measuring stick for success - the biggest problem with this is that youth culture has changed so dramatically and basing ministry on numbers is just horrible theology. If numbers were the criteria, Jesus would have been in trouble. His ministry started small, quickly grew (success right?), but he had a HUGE back door - people walked out and completely stopped showing up. They not only stopped coming but they also decided to kill him. Everyone left and so Jesus is there with just 12 people, 12 - about the average size youth group in the country. Those 12, changed the world. I wonder if the largest youth ministries in the country are actually the least effective? If Jesus were in my city, I just might have a bigger youth group than him. Why? Because he always seemed to say and do and require unpopular things. The rich young ruler would feel comfortable in my youth group but in Jesus', not so much.
I just think it is so important to change the criteria. Youth Workers, lets get in the ball game here and wake up. A vast majority of students are leaving the faith when they graduate from high school, primarily because we never gave them a faith worth much to begin with. Ministry that draws large numbers is shallow, almost by definition. But students in 11th grade and older are leaving our churches in droves, not because they don't have fun at youth group, but because they are longing for something more and we aren't giving it to them. Shallow is no longer in. It might draw a room full of kids but it won't keep them. Students are dying for a life worth living - it's time we give it to them.
You can count heads - but really - the heads that we should be counting are the ones who are 28 years old, who grew up in our ministries, whose faith is informing every decision they are making: the careers they choose, the spouses they pick, the way they raise their children, etc... You want a barometer for success? Then start there.
The Infamous Pit In Stomach
Ministry… honestly is a crazy thing. We give our lives to people, we're burdened for them, we pray for them, invest in them; it's all consuming and it’s a roller coaster ride. It’s an extremely vulnerable world, the world of ministry.
The last few days I have had a pit in my stomach, a nervous, anxious kind of pain. I feel it not just in my stomach but also in my muscles and in my limbs. I can’t really explain it, but if you have ever been in ministry, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It can come from an array of things, places, and people. You hear about a student who has walked away from the faith, a parent who is upset with something that you said, or a leader who has verbalized to others that they don’t like the direction the church is going. Then, well, cue the pit in stomach…
This morning I drove my daughters to school and normally we sing, we pray, laugh, and I give them vision for their day. But today, I don’t think I was even in the car. My mind was somewhere else, putting someone in their place… =)
I do love ministry, but I hate ministry. Why do these things at times have such power over us? Brennan Manning talks about the imposter who comes and speaks lies to us and for those of us in ministry, lies do come.
But rest in this: God loves us and He is with us. I love the passage in 1 Peter, “cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.” Peter knew anxiety and he knew insecurity and he knew what it was to give your life to people only to get negative feedback… But he had also experienced Jesus caring for him and giving him rest; rest from the thoughts, the lies, and the haunting words.
We are not alone, we are in this thing together. I love finding out I am not the only one – I love finding out that there are others who are sharing their lives and carrying the weight of ministry. So keep running and let a smile come to your face knowing that you are not the only one who can’t sleep, who isn’t present, who aches inside… For those of you in ministry – keep serving, loving, and know – you’re not alone!
Questions are the Enemy...???
I'm a bit troubled as I write todays blog. I have found that in a lot of American churches, we can't seem to disagree or express differing ideas, perspective, or thoughts that question current paradigms, thinking, or values. When did the church loose its curiosity and adventurous side?
I recently quoted someone who made a thoughtful and intriguing political statement that on the surface would seem to lean more liberal or at least more moderate. The response I got was funny (kind of) - like questions or differing opinions are going to bring the church and more importantly, America, to an end.
Stay with me here. As a youth worker I have always tried to help students discover a faith that is real, authentic, relevant, and thoughtful. The beauty of youth ministry is journeying with students as they question, doubt, and wrestle with the ideas, concepts, and theology of the world they currently are living in. A student who is in the middle of the adolescent journey must ask questions like, "If I lived in a different place, like India, would I believe something different?" "Am I a Christian just because my parents are and what if they are wrong?" "How do we really know what is true?" "Do I have to be republican if I become a Christian?" (seems silly but a student actually asked me this last week) These are beautiful questions that lead students into deeper questions, questions that must be preserved. I have always seen myself as the keeper of the questions. Why? Because I want to teach kids how to think not what to think. See, these are the type of questions that must be asked and wrestled with, but what I've noticed is this - many don't allow kids (or anyone) to wrestle, think, and discover truth slowly.
In American Christianity, questions seem to be the enemy.
Let's be honest, for the most part, when a student or anyone for that matter, questions, we feel upset, nervous, and a little offended. We feel we must defend the faith or our particular political or theological leanings. But what if questions were the very means that move us to a more relevant faith? What if God was in the questions, working? For most of us, we feel like we must give themanswers that will stop their questions.
Somehow we believe that questions will move kids further from the faith rather than closer and more intimately connected to it.
Let me give you a classic example of this. Here are some thoughts that I may or may not have - lets see how they sit with you.
What if someone looked at todays church and noticed some things. And these things were a stumbling block for them following Jesus. Let's say they looked at how Christianity has linked itself with a political party and how it has been trumpeting what is called "conservative family values," but they observed how we have minimized biblical community values. They asked you why the church seems to support wars of choice, defend torture, oppose environmental protection, and care more about protecting the rich from taxes than liberating the poor from poverty and minorities from racism.
They look at you and say that the church, that at least is on the radio and television, seems to protect the unborn human life inside the womb (which is good), but it seems like it doesn't care about born human life in the slums or prisons or nations they consider enemies. Their questions continue and you feel yourself becoming defensive and a bit offended.
They say that the church loves to paint gay people as a threat to marriage, seeming to miss the irony that heterosexual people were damaging marriage at a furious pace without the help of gay couples. The church, they say, seems to be against big government, as if big was bad, yet they seemed to be for big military and big business as inherently good. They go on to say that the church seems to interpret the Bible to favor the government of Israel and to marginalize Palestinians. They use the word "seems" a lot because they don't want to offend and "seem" like they are attacking you personally.
What do you say? Do you defend and shut down conversation or do you continue the line of questioning or say something like, "yeah, what you're saying, there is truth there" - giving validity to their thinking. Helping them stay engaged and exploding their paradigm of how christians interact and think. Or do you defend, push back, and set the record straight?
Here's what I feel when I hear these questions... I'm intrigued by the conversation, the line of thinking... but I fear that most of us feel angry, defensive, and here's the worst part, we label these people and throw them away relationally. We call them flaming liberals and disassociate with them. We leave and go tell our "christian" friends about how some liberal wack job was so ignorant and basically an idiot - probably going to hell. And what is crazy, we are more offended by differing political views more than we are theological (its so good not to be offended by differing theological thinking) - which is why I chose to use politics as the analogy.
Here's what I have discovered over the last 20 years in ministry. When I minister from a humble posture and from a curious and thoughtful place - I see more people become engaged in the conversation. They don't write the faith off because they initially see us squirm or flinch. We sit there and keep the conversation going, we are the keeper of the questions - we instigate questions. Why? Because when we question, we own the conversation and become seekers of truth. And truth belongs to God and always points to his son Jesus.
I know I'm all over the place with this blog - but I'm bothered by the climate of the church today. I love the journey though. I love seeing kids discover truth. I love when people see that Christianity is bigger than what they hear on the radio. I love when we respectfully disagree and I love how each of us see things differently. I love when my friends challenge me in love. And I love when mine and their questions cause us to wonder, to be in awe of this God who is sooo big!
The Sickness Is Myself
I had one of those conversations the other day with a high school student. If you're a youth worker you've probably had hundreds of these. But as he was sharing about the choices that he had been making recently, I sat there thinking, "why does every generation have to keep falling into the same traps, producing the same mistakes, and making a mess of their lives?" Honestly, I have been in youth ministry for almost 20 years, and I have never said this before, in fact I've avoided it, but this generation of students are struggling like never before (I avoided sounding old and acting as if my generation didn't have problems... the good old days are never as good as we think they were). But the reality is this, we have at risk kids because we have at risk adults raising them. But here is what's so cool. As this student was telling me his long list of sins, and I might add, in a nonchalant manner, I simply said, "me too!" I told him that I was guilty of the same kind of stuff and that I was in desperate need of God to change me, to keep changing me, and to never stop changing me." He sat their stunned, blown away. It was kind of a miracle, not me seeing my sin, but me sitting their thinking how screwed up this kid was - and then it just hit me. I'm just as guilty and he needed to see me confess and to acknowledge that this wasn't normal, that this was not the best way to live, or close to acceptable. It wasn't even fulfilling... We sat there and pledged together to pursue Jesus and his way with all of our hearts.
That last line just rang in my heart and mind. I want to spend the rest of my life alive.
That's it! I want my students to truly live and I want to have the guts to do it myself and show them the way of Jesus. To live it out and then to just ask them to come along for the ride.
I love Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
I want to build upon what those who have gone before us built. I want my students to build upon my life and what I'm building.
And so, it's just this: I want to represent and extend the reign of God - which means, He must actually reign in MY life - He must be Lord. And I think I'm ready!
A piece I wrote in Marko's new Middle School Ministry book
It was the fall semester of 1984; I was dressed in my short shorts and high socks, just getting ready for PE, when Cody Owens, a fellow 7th grader, proudly showed us his one armpit hair… that was 12 inches long, 12 inches! He said he was thinking about trimming it – we all yelled, “NO WAY, its amazing, leave it alone!” I had another friend who had a full amount of hair in his right armpit, but in his left armpit? Completely bald. Ah, Jr. High, those were the good old days. They were the best of times and the worst of times. I guess that’s why I’ve spent so many years as a youth worker with this age group. I love the passion, the naivety, the drama, the energy, the innocence, and the… well, the brain damage.
As a young youth pastor I took 65 Jr. High students to Palm Springs, CA. When we arrived I knew I was in big trouble. We had rented condominiums that were way too nice for a Jr. High retreat. Immediately I had a pit in my stomach and told everyone that if anything bad happened to these beautiful condos, that very possibly they could lose their salvation.
Within an hour all hell broke loose. The pastor’s son, a curious and creative 8th grade boy with a bad case of brain damage, came out of the bathroom and threw, what appeared to be a paper lunch sack at his buddy, who by the way, was standing right next to me. When the bag hit his friend, brown stuff exploded all over his him, me, the wall, and the ceiling. We soon found out that the brown stuff was excrement (yep…).
Immediately a fight broke out between these two 8th grade boys, one of which was covered in poop. The pastor’s son couldn’t believe that his friend would get so upset (like I mentioned, brain damage). I said, “Dude, You Threw Poop At Him!” Within 20 minutes all was good, they made up and later that night at program we played the chocolate pudding in the diaper game. Fun times…
The reality though is that I love this age. I love what God does in the midst of chaos. I love that I feel so out of control and I love how God surprises me and changes the hearts of kids that I swear, have never sat still a day in their life. I love the dreams and the passion and the vulnerability. You know it’s funny, I really need them in my life, maybe even more than they need me. Every time I hang out with a Jr. High student their zeal for life seems to rub off onto me. I need what they have and I wish it came natural to me. I guess we kind of need each other, don’t we? They need our wisdom to get them through the chaos, to guide them into life and into true living. And we need them to guide us back to passion, to stir within us curiosity, to be reminded how to play again, and to revisit the calling of childlike faith.
I’m blown away by how God has changed my life through the most unlikely of people. I’m so moved by how God has opened my eyes and softened my heart through these ragtag misfits. And what’s amazing is that I have discovered that I’m actually the misfit and they have taken me in.
What is going on?!
At the beginning of my youth ministry carrier I started attending the Youth Specialties national convention every year. This convention feed my soul. I would venture to say that it was one of the only things that consistently gave me life, made me laugh, cry, and think and was my yearly retreat. There was a connection with those who ran it even though I didn't know them personally, I felt known, understood, and was given vision to head back into the trenches of youth ministry every fall. And what was so unlikely but a dream of mine, I was hired by them and placed on a team of creative writers, speakers, dreamers, and brilliant thinkers.
What grieves me is this company was sold a few years ago and since then we have gone through a whirl wind of changes. My hero and mentor Tic Long was fired a few months ago and just today, my good friend Marko (the president) was let go. I'm blown away!
Now the reality is that Youth Specialties is a for profit business and that is very different from a church - a subtle difference but a difference. But it reminded me of what has been happening in American Christianity and its been going on so frequently over the past few years, and not just in cut throat type companies. You would expect it there. But in christian organizations and more depressingly, in churches all over the place. Youth workers are treated like cogs in a machine - they can be used up and then thrown away. This is one of the reasons I don't want to leave youth ministry. I want to change the way we are viewed and support those who are being used and abused.
I hear constantly about churches who are letting go of people and this revolving door has become the norm. What is going on here?!
How do we see those we hire or those we work for? We should be called to each other. We should be in it for the long hall. I am sickened by disunity and the infighting that is happening in the church today.
I am a part of a church that has had its share of recent drama and I know what it is like to be fired and mistreated. I also know what it is to fire someone and be on the other side of this whole thing. I think it all is sad to God. We are to be known for our unity. The unity of the believers - this is how the world will know that the message of Jesus is true.
I'm not sure what the message of this blog is though. I guess I'm just tired. I am tired of walking into meetings where someone has it out for me. I'm tired of having to watch my back. I'm tired of seeing my friends mistreated. And I am tired all of this happening within the church.
I think I'm just going to go and reread Phil. 2 again.
Dream a Little Dream
I think its very interesting how we manage our dreams. I don't mean the dreams that we have while sleeping, I mean the things we long to see happen or the desires we have for our lives and for the world. I think for the most part, we either pursue them or we try hard to forget about them because, for whatever reason, we've lost hope in accomplishing them. For me, my dreams have been a difficult thing. This is probably because of the nature and the complexity of my current dreaming.
When I was young and at the beginning of my ministry career, my dreams were manageable. Honestly, my dream wasn't original and it was pretty small. I just wanted to be a youth pastor in a big church with a lot of students. It was all about size and influence. I looked up to youth workers who were older and yet relevant. They were making impact in student's lives, parent's lives, and in the lives of volunteers and interns. It's funny, it's not that I don't want these things, I just want more.
The dreams that are keeping me awake now seem to be out of my hands. I remember laughing at the old joke of how the beauty pagent contestant would always answer the question of what she wishes for with that tired line, "I just want world peace." We all think, "how stupid is she! World peace?!" My dream isn't really world peace (although, that would be awesome!), its just to see a city changed - which to me seems initially ridiculous and naive to pursue. BUT MAYBE GOD DOES WANT TO CHANGE A CITY! The thought at times though seems overwhelming and I feel so out of my depth.
So here it is: I want my sphere of influence to be in my city - not just in my church. I long to give my life away to a city in need and to call youth workers and students along for the ride. Maybe this is true discipleship - giving your life away to a cause and calling people to join you. This, I guess, would be cause driven ministry. I like the sound of that.
So my cause is to reach a city and disciple as many as I can in the process. Honestly, the thought of this brings mixed feelings inside of me - I'm stoked and afraid at the same time. For a while I tried to forget this dream because it seemed too big and the finances really knocked the wind out of me. It takes a lot of staff and resources to do what we want to do.
I was journaling a few weeks ago and I just sensed God telling me that it was time to stop wishing the dream to come true and to just go make it happen. Meet with everyone I could and collaborate with as many like minded people as possible. For so long I've just sat on my ass waiting for a miracle. But I felt like God was saying, "this dream is my dream Brock, but you've got to get up and make this thing happen!" So here we go. In the last few weeks I have had so many meetings with amazing people and things are beginning to fall into place.
I'll tell you this, it just feels good to be dreaming again. To have hope. To get up and turn this dream into a reality. Here's my question for you: What are you dreaming about? And what is keeping you from dreaming or from running after your dreams. By the way, dreams are from God, especially the big ones that seem impossible.
I like what Walt Disney said, "It's kind of fun doing the impossible."
October Theme
This Sunday is our Fall kick-off as a youth ministry. Normally we do this mid-september but we are experiencing massive changes and transitions as a church so it was postponed a couple of weeks. So I have had more time than usual to pray, seek, and dream about a theme for the fall and in particular the first few weeks. I was studying the book of Acts and in chapter 2 I saw four things that just jumped off the page. The people who first heard the good news of Jesus responded with action. The first thing they did was to repent, they turned from the junk and abandoned everything to join this new movement. Then they were baptized, showing the world that they belong to Jesus. That they were dying with him and being raised by him. After this they did two radical things: 1. they sold everything they owned. 2. they gave their money to the poor. Their faith and their radical commitment is inspiring - and it just leaped off the page at me.
Students are dying for a life worth living. They want their faith to impact their lives... otherwise, ya know what, forget it. I feel the same. So we are going to follow the way of the early church followers of Jesus. Week 1: We are going to repent. Week 2: have a baptism service. Week 3: Sacrifice by bringing goods to be sold. Week 4: Give away the money to a family in need.
The theme sounds so regimented and maybe a bit naive. But I feel like its from God. Repentance for me has been an ongoing, almost everyday kind of thing. So I will stand up this Sunday and begin this four week process - I will begin by calling all of us to repent of the junk that we have allowed to keep us from running after Jesus - the stuff that has hindered and slowed us down. I am looking forward to watching God change us. And I'm just going to trust him to do so.
The Call
My dad was a youth pastor for many years and I remember that he and my mom each fall would head out to the Youth Specialties Convention. I remember this because they would always come home refreshed, with a new creative energy - and they would tell amazing stories from their time there. One year my older sister and I were flown out at the end of the convention - I couldn't have been more than 12 years old at the time. It was in San Francisco and it was the last night. See, back in the day, they would end with a big banquet and have a band, a comedian, or a speaker come. Now, why I remember this particular year so vividly is because the speaker was none other than musician Steve Taylor - the amazing alternative rock god and at that time, a huge hero of mine. His Meltdown cassette tape was in my walkman and I was in awe of him as he spoke. I even remember what he talked about. He spoke about the years he had been a youth worker and how challenging and frustrating and exhilarating they were. He spoke as if he was envious of those sitting in the audience. That he had bailed out and didn't quite have what it took to stay in the game. I honestly think that's when it happened. That's when I got my call. You see, there was a room full of youth workers, I didn't know so many even existed. I just thought it was something my parents did because, well, God only knows why. But there I was, surrounded by amazing, fun, passionate, radical youth workers - and Steve Taylor was encouraging these front line warriors. Steve Taylor, he looked tame next to my parents and all those there with this amazing call. These ragamuffins with light in the eyes and a heart to change youth culture one kid at a time.
You see, it hit me. A seed was planted. My world grew larger that night. It was a nudge from God - a little picture of my future.
I love what I do. I love students. I love youth workers. I am blown away every time I walk into a room full of these people - what a privilege to walk beside and with such amazing people. There have been times that I have felt like giving up - it really is a burden, it's a difficult road. But as Tom Hanks told Gina Davis in A League of Their Own, "If it were easy, then everyone would do it." I am full of gratitude to be a part of a movement. To be a part of what God is so passionate about. As David said in the Psalms, "Don't let me pass until I have preached to this next generation." And the generations just keep coming.
So I just printed out my flight information. I'm heading to Los Angeles for the Youth Specialties Convention. I doubt I'll see Steve Taylor but I'm not going there to be with him. It's a dangerous place being in a room full of youth workers, and I can't wait.
