Brock Morgan's Blog

Taking a Break

2011-11-15T05:43:00.001-08:00

You can follow me on twitter @brockmorgan or check out my website at brockmorgan.com
Currently I am taking a break from blogging... I'll begin again soon but until then, catch you in twitter land.

An open letter to my dad - Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

Dad,

Today I walked into the living room and found Dancin watching The Cosby Show. It was the episode of where Bill Cosby was giving advice to Theo about school and his grades. Theo went on about the fact that his father was expecting too much from him. Theo thought that maybe he wasn’t meant for college and that he, his father, should just let him do what he wants to do and just except him for the way he was. Cosby responded by saying these awesome words, “that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Cosby went to say how Theo was meant for greatness and that he was blinded because of the struggle, the hard times. But that if he hung in there, worked hard and never gave up, then he would find true success. Theo would become great and character would be built.

It reminded me of our relationship and how you have always seen in me what I couldn’t see in myself. When I thought I was too dumb, too ignorant, to slow, too undisciplined – you have seen in me who I really am. Dad, I love you so much and I am so proud to be your son. My prayer is that your life would be repeated in me. My prayer is that I would live in a way that Jesus would be glorified, just like he is glorified in you.

I long to be a man of wisdom like you are. I was telling Paul Cook, our summer intern, about you the other day. We were hiking in the back country of Greenwich and came upon a brook. We sat there by the water and he began to tell about how his father left the family when he was 12 years old and how his relationship with his Dad is at best cordial. I began to tell him about what an amazing father you were and about how I always felt like I was the apple of your eye. I went on to tell him that because of you and how you saw me, how you loved me, accepted me, and truly saw me, I have always been able to receive love from God. That because of your love, I just knew God must love me. That because of your acceptance, I always felt accepted by God. Because of how you watched me, cheered for me, listened to me, and tenderly gazed over me, I have just known, my whole life, that God must deeply care for me, that He must overwhelmingly love me, and that he actually likes me. You have made my view of God, you have inspired my interactions with Him, and you have lived in a way that I have felt safe with Him.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I have never, not for one day, questioned if I am loved – this is because of you and Mom. Thank you! Thank you Dad for leading our family this way. You have made it easy to live a life wide open to Jesus because I have watched you. I have been watching since I was in the crib. I have watched how you treated Mom, I’ve watched how you listened to people and loved them, I have watched how you have sought after Jesus’ heart for people, I’ve watched you live it out, and I’ve watched you, every year, grow in wisdom, mercy, patience, goodness, and in extravagant love. God is so proud of you – I feel it from Him Dad. You are His man and He trusts you! You, the one who has been faithful, the one who has lived radically, the one who has challenged small thinking and small living, you! I love you and I am the proudest son in the world!

When you put your head on the pillow tonight, sleep well. Rest knowing that your children love you; we respect you, we honor you. We absolutely adore you. You and Mom have been absolutely incredible – Incredibly detailed in how you have modeled Jesus to us. Sleep all night Dad, rest like you’ve never rested before. Put your head on your pillow knowing that what God has entrusted to you, you have been faithful. Rest knowing that this God, who has used you in remarkable ways, ways that are worthy of a movie, He isn’t finished with you. But you don’t need to wake up with worry and anxiety. He’s got you. The One that you have been faithful to, He will NOT let you down. He has not forgotten you and you are the one he brags about. He brags about you to Peter, Gabriel, Grandpa, all the Saints, and all the sinners. You are loved. Paul Vernon Morgan, my dad, my hero! Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Your beloved son,

Brock

My new article for Immerse Magazine

2011-05-17T10:12:00.001-07:00

I went to an AA meeting recently with a friend of mine. I loved how the meeting began. The leader got up and said, “My name is Brian, and I am an alcoholic.” I thought, Maybe church should begin like that. It is just so real and reminds everyone in the room, especially the person saying it, how desperate they all are.
I long for the real. I am ready for the work of God to truly transform me. Recently I wrote this in my journal:
Sometimes I wake up and just feel empty and unhappy, but I can’t put my finger on exactly why. Sometimes I’m full of joy and feel goofy, and I dance around the house singing made-up songs and annoy my family. Sometimes I feel like a great youth worker. Mostly, though, I feel out of my depth, inadequate, and I have no clue how to reach students. Sometimes I feel so good after walks with my 17-year-old daughter, and I feel as though God has spoken right through me directly to her. But lately I don’t have any idea what to say. Sometimes I say to the Lord that wherever he leads me I will follow, but then I don’t want to get out of bed. Sometimes I feel God’s hand is upon me. Sometimes I feel as though he wants nothing to do with me.
As a youth pastor and a so-called professional Chris- tian, the environment I live and work in can be just so darn inauthentic. If I said to people in my church what was really going on beneath the surface, I’m afraid I would lose respect. So, I just hide. I act like everything is okay. And the words I preach—I act like I am honestly living them.
I was talking the other day with a friend who is a pastor, and I asked him how he has been—like, really, how he was. He answered me in such an open and vulnerable way that it shocked me. He said, “My marriage is a
mess; I have no discipline; and I have no idea how to change anything in my life.” The way he talked was so refreshing, and the thought hit me: I think this might be the first step toward freedom and wholeness.
Honesty. Just saying it. “I am struggling, and I am not who I want to be.” This sets us free, and this is what the church needs—leaders who lead from honest brokenness. Paul did it; Peter did it; all the greats did it. Jesus even did it.
I love the passage where Jesus, the God-man, begs his closest friends to stay up and pray with him. He is being tortured in his thoughts by what is to come. That, in just a few moments, he is going to be arrested, tortured and slowly killed. He feels alone, and he invites his closest friends into his struggle, his worry, his anxiety and his doubt. If Jesus was vulnerable, maybe I should think about it a bit myself.
But I’ve got to go beyond telling people how screwed up I am. Many Christians are good at that. And it’s funny because, even though it’s honest, it’s also shallow. If there is no desire to move beyond it, it’s almost hopeless. It’s just a blanketed, self-accepting statement. There’s no depth beyond the words. It’s defining. “I am a screw-up, and I will always be a screw-up.”
As youth workers, we all want God to change students. We want them to recklessly abandon everything and run to Jesus—and not just on mission trips, retreats and at camp. We want them to experience Jesus in the day to day of their lives. But I also want this for myself, and this is way easier said than done.
One week recently, I was feeling dry in my spirit and kind of numb inside. I knew what I would tell my students to do if they were in the same situation. So I decided to do it myself. I decided to take a retreat, just for the day. I canceled some appointments and just got away. I sat there with my journal and Bible, and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t journal. I just couldn’t focus. I had no attention span. I felt restless, and it was grueling.
There was this battle inside, and I noticed something about myself in that moment. Everything in me wanted to avoid God. So I did what any great minister of the gospel would do. I got out my laptop and went to ESPN.com for some light yet very important reading! By the end of the day, I had accomplished little... except for this one thing. At the end of my time, I wrote a prayer in my journal asking God to invade me. I realized I was incapable of doing it, of bringing change, of waking myself up. I just really needed him. It’s funny how, the following week, I felt God answering that prayer little by little. I felt myself slowly coming back to life. I sensed him inviting me to “wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you” (Ephesians 5:14).
I love the passage in Colossians 2:6. It says, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
Maybe that’s it! I remember running to the altar to accept Jesus on a Wednesday night when I was 13. I think maybe over the years I have just stopped running. I think I am like my students, or maybe they are like
me. It’s too easy to only run to Jesus on mission trips, at retreats, camps and the occasional Wednesday night. God, forgive me!
I remember when my dad was my age and I was 17, and I remember thinking how he had it all together and how, by the time I got to be his age, I would have my stuff together as well. But when I look at who I am—who I really am—it seems that when I invited Christ into the darkest recesses of my heart, I was oblivious to the fact that he carries a flashlight, maybe even something more like a spotlight, and the true cracks in my character are more obvious to me now than they were then. It’s really no wonder I feel even more desperate for the hand of God to move in my life. My heart cries out for God to invade me completely, to raise me from the dead.
So I remember with thankfulness that I am fragile, cracked. I sink my roots into the rich soil that is my daily dependency on God. I refuse to believe the lie that I’ve got my life under control, that I’ve got it all together. I think maybe I need to begin every day with these words: “My name is Brock Morgan, I am broken, and I desperately need Jesus today.”

For six years Brock was a member of the Youth Specialties One- day national speaking team and has been working with students for over 20 years. He is a popular speaker for camps, retreats, and conferences and has overseen youth ministries in big and small churches on the west coast but is currently the youth pastor at Trinity Church in Greenwich, Connecticut. Brock has been mar- ried to his wife Kelsey for 15 years and they have 2 daughters. He loves to surf, play golf and tennis, and hang with his wife as much as possible. He also watches NFL network way too much.

Teen Drug Use Is On The Rise

2011-04-08T11:38:00.001-07:00

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7361937n

Youth Ministry Coaching Program

2011-04-06T08:27:00.001-07:00

So I am leading a cohort in New England and we still have more spots. If you live in the New York City area or in New England, I'd love for you to be a part of it. Read below and follow the link to youth ministry coaching program. There are limited spots, so sign up now. Oh and by the way, I've kept mine a bit cheaper than others - I know we are pretty tight financially as youth workers and our youth ministry budgets aren't exactly over-flowing. I hope to hear from you!

Brock's Leading a Cohort in New England

2011-04-06T08:25:00.001-07:00

zack weingartner on the ymcp

April 6, 2011

zack weingartner is a youth worker you haven’t heard of, but should. brilliantly gifted, super fun and relational, and deeply insightful, zack has just made a move to flatirons church in boulder, colorado. he’s a blogger, and just completed a year in my youth ministry coaching program. i’m so glad to have gotten to know zack. my life is richer for it. here’s zack’s post about his involvement in ymcp this past year.
************
2010 and into 2011 has been a big year for me in a lot of ways. The only reason that I am using a timeline of last April to this March is because of an incredible program I just finished called the Youth Ministry Coaching Program (YMCP). Teamed with the leadership class I took at the Air Force Academy on Dynamic Leadership, focusing on character development in leadership, and the weekly meetings with a mentor that shook my perspective, challenged my notions, and pushed my boundaries, I came out way ahead.
A year ago I knew a few things about myself: I loved the students in my ministry (I still do), I was pretty good at being a youth pastor, I had a wonderful family (I still do, of course), … and I was dissatisfied, frustrated, tired, and above all, just plain wanted to get better at being all of the things I am – husband, father, pastor, leader, friend, mentor, protege, etc.
The first step happened a while earlier when the father of one of my high school guys approached me on a mission trip and told me that he saw potential in me above where I was professionally and personally and that he could tell I wasn’t being developed to my maximum (which was like having someone tell me I wasn’t crazy and that the emperor truly had no clothes). I began meeting with him regularly, nearly every week in September 2009. It started hard … I had to break some bad habits and look at things differently if I really wanted to get better. After a rough, honest meeting the very first time we had coffee, I sat and gave myself the space to ask if I truly wanted to have my heart wrung out and reanimated with stronger things. I did, and I grew immediately and quickly.
Next, I found out about the Youth Ministry Coaching Program run by Mark Oestreicher, whom I have read for years and admired as the former president of Youth Specialties and a thinker that I have always wanted to be more like. After reading about the launch of it, I knew I had to be involved. My church graciously paid the tuition and Josie and I made the sacrifice to pay for the travel expenses of going to San Diego every other month for a year. It definitely helped that I got to travel to the area I grew up in. Those who know me also know how deeply sentimental and borderline cheesy I am about all things, but especially San Diego. Of all the experiences of the last year outside the program, which I’ll get to in a second, the capstone was taking a run on La Jolla shores along the ocean as the sun set my last night in town after the closing YMCP. There is a metaphor about endings and beginning in there, but simply put it was inspiring and one of the moments of my life as a movie that will replay for the rest of my days. Like all of the coaching cohort experience, it was just a spiritual moment.
The program itself changed me in rich and profound ways. Marko has an uncanny ability to state things that are complex in ways that are penetrating. Or, said another way, my soul was pierced by the application of simple truths both about God, but also about myself. And the marriage of those concepts is really where ministry comes from.
I found a new confidence, a new clarity, a refreshed inspiration. I rekindled my love affair with the craft of youth ministry, challenging thinking, and vigorous application. My students benefited, my family benefited, my career has flourished and is taking new directions that have given me life in places that were at least dying if not dead. In all honestly and without hyperbole, I don’t know what kind of rut I would be in if I had not pursued this opportunity.
If you are a youth pastor, go. Do this … now, not later. Sell your car or whatever, it’s well, well worth it. Your life will change, I promise.
************
all of the cohorts still have space in them; but unless the san diego cohort (scheduled to launch in may) fills up soon, we’ll have to postpone or cancel it. if you’re interested in the san diego cohort, please let me know soon.

YM Video 1

2010-12-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

Great youth ministry video. They have a couple of these on you tube - this one is my favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMcfrLYDm2U

YM Videos

2010-12-24T07:54:00.001-08:00

I've Seen It All

2010-11-21T17:50:00.001-08:00

Great Youth Ministry Video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vUyObQxV_o&feature=player_embedded

Beautiful Skating

2010-11-16T09:33:00.001-08:00

Check this video out - amazing!
http://www.shredordie.com/video/kilian-martin-a-skate-1

Sometimes... sometimes

2010-11-08T12:23:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I wake up and I just feel empty and unhappy but I can't put my finger on exactly why I feel that way.
Sometimes I'm full of joy and I feel goofy and I dance around the house singing made up songs and annoy my family.
Sometimes they join in.

Sometimes I feel like a great youth worker.
Mostly though, I feel out of my depth, inadequate, and I have no clue how to reach students.

I feel love for my wife but I sometimes don't know how to show it.
Sometimes I feel so good after walks with McKenzie and I feel as though God has spoken right through me directly to her.
But lately I don't have any idea what the Hell to say.

Sometimes I say to the Lord that where ever He leads me I will follow, but then I don't want to get out of bed.
Sometimes I read the Bible and I am speechless and I cry. So lately I haven't been reading it much.
Sometimes I feel God's hand is upon me.
Sometimes I feel as though He wants nothing to do with me.
But then sometimes I remind myself of the truth that I am His beloved.

Sometimes I have the discipline to say no to myself and to be a godly man... sometimes

Expectations Can Suck Your Life Away

2010-10-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how we come into relationships with loaded and heavy expectations. I do this, you do it, we all are guilty of ridiculous expectations. I even do this with God. I expect Him to make my life easy, smooth, convenient, and to always give me favor in everything I do. Bad theology I know, but when God or anyone else doesn't meet my expectations, well, I will either disengage, act hostile, or I will really show them by pouting and going passive aggressive.

I went into marriage with unreasonable expectations and I went in to ministry with ridiculous expectations. I even bought my car and had wrong expectations. I assumed that when I purchased my Toyota FJ Cruiser that I was becoming a member of an elite club. I expected that every time I would pass another FJ, that we would wave at each other, give the nod, and smirk knowing that we were far superior to everyone else. The reality is that rarely does anyone wave back at me... but that doesn't stop me... I keep waving, and hoping, and getting disappointed.

In the area of youth ministry I get this a lot. I am expected to spend regular time with every student, rescue their faith, keep them a virgin, build their self-esteem, keep them off drugs, give funny yet emotionally stirring talks, make our mid-week student attracting, theologically deep and challenging for our 12th graders, shallow enough for a 9th grade boy to understand, missionally based, and discipleship oriented. I am supposed to attend every meeting anyone would ever have, be at every parents beckon call, attend every students concert, game, recital, club, graduation, and event. I need to know my place on staff, stay in an under paying-over working-and under supportive church and be happy about it, and be the best damn husband and father out there.

Expectations can be a heavy load and they can literally render us immobile. I know first hand.

Recently I received a mass email from a group in our church. It said that I would be attending the "whole" meeting and sharing my ideas on social justice and how students could get involved. Sounds great but I didn't know the meeting existed. Expectations man; they can kill. And of course I feel pressure to attend the "whole" meeting and do exactly what they told everyone I would do. I actually love the people who are holding the meeting and I am new at my church so I feel the pressure to not disappoint. I am going out of town this weekend because I felt like I should attend this World Vision thing in Florida. I get back Sunday and I immediately get back on a plane Monday and fly to South Carolina for a staff retreat. I have two youth retreats coming up that I am not ready for and a game night around the corner. What the Hell am I doing?

Today I am releasing myself from expectations and I release you to. You are free. It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. So in the name of Jesus go disappoint someone. Go ahead, do it. What are you still reading this for? Get up and say no to something. Go for a walk with your spouse, take a nap, sit under a tree with your Bible, go surfing, take the afternoon off and see a movie... Make that phone call and tell that person you can't make it.

...be still and know that He is God.

Lord, Liar, Lunatic

2010-10-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

I was reading this morning in John 5 where Jesus says some pretty amazing words:

³¹"If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid. ³²There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is valid.

³³"You have sent to John and he has testified to the truth. ³⁴Not that I accept human testimony; but I mention it that you may be saved. ³⁵John was a lamp that burned and gave light, and you chose for a time to enjoy his light.

³⁶"I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me. ³⁷And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, ³⁸nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. ³⁹You diligently study^[a] the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

⁴¹"I do not accept praise from men, ⁴²but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. ⁴³I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. ⁴⁴How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God^[b]?

⁴⁵"But do not think I will accuse you before the Father. Your accuser is Moses, on whom your hopes are set. ⁴⁶If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me. ⁴⁷But since you do not believe what he wrote, how are you going to believe what I say?"

Amazing words - and what he is saying is that He is not just who he says he is, but he is who Moses says he is. Later we see that he says that he is who all of Scripture says he is - he's the promised Messiah. C.S. Lewis once said that Jesus was and is one of these options: He is the Lord, a liar, or a lunatic. There are no other options. He was the best liar of all time, a crazy man, or he was who he said he was. Pick one. My prayer is that eyes would be opened to who Jesus really is.

Now I know that this is complicated and the pursuit of whether the Bible is reliable is in this argument. I know that C.S. Lewis' argument is a very modern approach. I get this, trust me. But I have doubted, not believed, but I also have hung in there and just tried to pursue truth. Truth led me to Jesus - it was grueling, difficult, and I don't have most of the answers. But the more I study Jesus the more I really like Him and I want to be like Him.

I love in this passage how confident Jesus is - he knows who he is. He believes that all of Scripture points to this fact. He is the Messiah. I spoke recently with someone that I love dearly. She told me she no longer believes that Jesus is God.

When someone tells you this, you first lose sleep, but then all you can do is pray. Pray that they actually seek truth. Because truth always points to Jesus.

This Is The Good life

2010-09-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

I fell asleep last night with this overwhelming sense of gratitude for the burden of being a husband and a father. Great things can also be a burden, a heavy load... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

One to two times a week I'll take my girls on a little date. We leave the house and they might appear troubled or disconnected or just busy with life and distracted by schedules but by the time we return, they look different - it's like they have become their true selves, they have reemerged - and after a little time of listening, asking questions, giving them vision, and reminding them who they truly are they are ready.

So the dates began last night with my wife. She's been worried, a little stressed, and overwhelmed. We left the house and I could feel the tension that was heavy on her. We walked in silence for just a minute and then I told her proud of her I was. That I loved watching her with our daughters and with people at church, and how honored I am to be her husband. We walked, talked - I most listened and by the time we got home she was glowing.

Next came McKenzie.
She is remarkable and gifted and so strong and courageous - and this is what I told her. I asked her about life and friends and what was on her plate. She talked about school, youth group, church stuff, and about the things that have been bothering her - and I just listened... we laughed and cried a bit as we shared our hearts together.

Dancin came next.
By the time I got to her, it was dark out. The cool breeze had blown in and so we grabbed sweaters and put on closed toed shoes and headed out. Dancin is like a sponge and she has grown used to these kind of dates - and she just listens intently and soaks it all up. We've been doing these little dates since before she could walk. With her I just got right into it and told her that being her daddy was the greatest privilege in my life and that I was so amazed by her heart. I have been watching her and I am so proud of her. God's hand is upon her and she is called to do great and dangerous things for the kingdom.

We walked back to the house and there was a warm feeling in our home. Everyone seemed to be connecting and it was easy being together. Bed time came and so I went in and prayed with McKenzie and then Dancin and then I crawled into bed with Kelsey ... life can't get any better than this!

I just love what I do. I love being a pastor to students. Reminding them who they truly are and what they could do in this life. I love coming home and allowing God to use me in my families lives. I love being God's listening ear and voice to them. I so desire to be a good husband and a good father. But I seem to fail so often and I am so desperate for God's presence. What a journey this is... what a calling. Life is so good.

Am I Just Old Or What?!

2010-09-22T06:57:00.001-07:00

I remember driving in the car with my parents when I was a teenager and we'd be listening to the old bands that they loved. Smokey Robinson, Martha and the Vandellas, The Beach Boys, and Old Chicago. And I guess I liked their music alright... but I remember thinking how old those people must have been and how I really just wanted to turn the dial and listen to Bon Jovi, KidnPlay, or maybe some Metallica. But life has recently come full circle.

McKenzie, our 17 year old and I went on a little date to Starbucks yesterday. I started to tell her about Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam and she was like, "Who?" Then I brought up Kurt Cobaine, and she asked, "Who is that again?"

What!!?? I was actually offended.

But then it hit me. I am my parents, only I'm not listening to Buddy Holly, I'm listening to The Counting Crows. How did this happen? Life is just too darn quick!

But today I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to just go with it and put on my old ripped jeans, my boots, and a Flannel shirt and crank up some oldies... yep, I'm feeling like going way back, maybe some Cranberries.

The High Calling

2010-09-12T16:39:00.001-07:00

These words by G.D. Watson have been my prayer and my meditation for over fifteen years. My prayer is that you'll be impacted.

"If God is calling you to be truly like Jesus, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put on you demands of obedience that sometimes will not allow you to follow other Christians. In many ways He will seem to let other good people do things He will not let you do.

Other Christians, and even ministers, who seem very religious and useful, may push themselves, pull strings, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do these things. And if you attempt them, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others can brag about themselves, about their work, about their success, about their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing; and if you begin bragging, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money, or having a legacy left to them, or in having luxuries, but God may only supply you daily, because He wants you to have something far better than gold—a helpless dependence on Him—that He may have the privilege of providing your needs daily out of the unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honored, and keep you hidden away in obscurity, because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade.

God will let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil without knowing how much you are doing. And then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put such a strict watch on you, with jealous love, and rebuke you for little words and feelings or for wasted time, which other Christians never seem distressed over.

So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign who has a right to do as He pleases with His own and needs not to explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you.

God will take you at your word; and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and let other people say and do many things you cannot do or say.

Settle it forever that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes in ways that others are not disciplined.

Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven."

G.D. Watson

The Move From Hell

2010-09-08T08:04:00.001-07:00

OK, so most of us hate moving and this is true. Rarely is it fun to pack your life away and move to a new location - even if the new location is a beach front property... OK, maybe not...
But this past move was one for the record books.

We moved from the West Coast to the East Coast, a move that I actually was looking forward to just because I thought it would be fun to get in the car and drive across the country and see the sites and just hang as a family listening to books on cd and playing the alphabet game. We hired a moving company that seemed reputable and they came, gathered our things in between smoke breaks (I think I second hand smoked about 4 packs), and finally at the end of the day we got into our Toyota and headed east.

All was good and the trip was fine, until we arrived and didn't hear anything from the moving company. A couple of days went by and so I called them... no answer... so I left a message. Emails not returned, phone calls not returned... two weeks went by. Finally I received a call telling me that the company we had hired went out of business in the middle of our move. What?!
I was told I would need to hire a different company to get our stuff and move it the rest of the way.

So, after a few days of taking bids we hired a great company - bad thing is, they were $1500.00 more than the original company and the original company was keeping our $1500.00 deposit - so we are out $3000.00!

Meanwhile, we are living in basically an empty house for 2 weeks just waiting for our stuff to arrive. Thanks to some new friends we had a few things to sit on, eat, on and sleep on...

The truck arrived and we started to unload - long story short, the original company just killed so much of our stuff. Boxes smashed, breakables broken, and here's the thing that is killing me - we have 2 TV's - they stole one and semi-broke the other! Get that? They stole one of our TV's and the one that was delivered is broken!
But it shouldn't matter because its just a TV, right? No Way! I was pissed - after everything this was like the final blow. I know I'm supposed to be mature and just take it like a godly man but... easier said than done. =)

Funny thing is, we can't do anything to a company that is no longer in existence. So I'm just sitting here watching my semi-broken TV waiting for Sunday to get here so I can see the Cowboys beat the Redskins.

But on a good note, I have an ear-ache... something I haven't had since 3rd grade. All I can do is just laugh. It does the heart good.

Bad Judgment, Detached Retinas, and A Lot of Stupid

2010-08-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was 18 years old and it first dawned upon me, “If I become a youth pastor, I’ll get to play dodge-ball for the rest of my life!” That was twenty years ago and I’m still in youth ministry and loving it. The past few summers we have had students visit us who were a part of our ministry over those twenty some years and each time, inevitably, the stories start coming. The stories of God working are my favorite, but the students seem to like telling and retelling the times that I made a fool of myself or the times I got in trouble. I just sit there cringing and think, “Man, was I stupid!”

I was 23 years old and in my first full time ministry position. My intern, and fellow driver, was my best friend from elementary. We were heading out of L.A. and began racing through traffic, trying to beat each other to the condos we had rented for the weekend. Not only was this dangerous, but we had a mom following us with my wife sitting in the van with her. I remember “mom” making us pull off to the side of the road and yelling at us in front of all of the students. Thanks to “mom” (you know who you are) for that much needed lecture, but talk about humiliating.

Then there was the time I had one of our volunteers hide in the false ceiling of the youth room with a fire extinguisher full of water. With a loud crash he dropped out of the sky, made a perfect landing on the stage, and hosed everyone down. We found out later that one of the students had to be rushed to the doctor for fear of a detached retina. He had been squirted in the eyeball at point-blank range.

Or how about my first parents’ meeting? I spoke to a room full of amazing parents who sat there listening to me go on and on as if I knew, at 23, how to parent teenagers. I remember this gracious mom coming up to me afterwards and saying, “Brock, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about!” The funny thing is, I didn’t. I had never raised a child, and I had never lived full time with a 13 year old. As the parent of a teen now, I am a much better youth worker.

I remember one year going to the Youth Specialties National Convention and hearing Tony Campolo use the “S” word. I thought he was so cool, so I decided to pull that one out for our youth group back home. Let me just say this: 12 and 13 year olds tell their parents everything we youth workers do, especially if it will shock their parents. Campolo was much more effective than I was. The next day my pastor called me in for a meeting that would be a huge wake up call.

But the one that takes the cake was when I was asked to come and speak at a local Christian high school. The topic they wanted me to speak on was “personal responsibility.” Maybe you already got this, but “personal responsibility” hasn’t always been my strong suit. So, my wife and I headed out to this school that I had never been to with directions written on a napkin by a 15 year-old student. Needless to say, we got lost. With about 10 minutes left until I was supposed to speak and knowing that we were a good 20 minutes away, I started to speed. I remember my wife saying, “Brock, if you get a ticket, I am going to kill you.” My response was, “Baby, we’re fine. There’s no way I’ll get a ticket.” Then, to my surprise, flashing lights were in the rear view mirror and a siren was blasting behind the car. We pulled over and the police officer walked up to my wife’s side of the car, so she rolled down her window. He pointed at me and said, “Get out of the car buddy, you’re going to jail! We’ve been chasing you for 10 minutes on both sides of the freeway and you’re in big trouble.” My wife started crying, and not just little tears. She was balling her eyes out, and furious to boot. I got out of the car and the officer reached for his handcuffs. In a shaky voice I said, “Sir, please don’t arrest me. I’m a youth pastor and I’m supposed to speak at a Christian school down the road on “personal responsibility”. Please don’t take me to jail. PLEASE!” God was with me that day, my friends. He paused for a second, put his cuffs away, and said, “Get back in your car.” My wife took one look at me and with evil in her eyes, slugged me right in the gut. The officer wrote me a ticket and gave me directions to the school. I walked in, still shaking, as the worship band finished their last song. I got on the stage and talked about the importance of being responsible, with a great analogy, I might add. How ironic.

I am one of those youth workers who have had to learn the hard way. But I can tell you this, I love students and I love seeing Jesus change their lives. I’ve just found I need to get out of the way a bit and let Him have His way with them. And if God can use me, he can use anyone.

Transitions, New Positions, and Fresh Starts

2010-08-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

I remember being 23 years old and interviewing for my first full time position. I had spoken with at least 15 churches and by the time I began talking with a church in the Los Angeles area, I had the interview thing down pretty good. I knew the questions before they even asked them and I knew how to answer them in a way that was both informative and moving. And so when they offered me the job I was just so thrilled, and excited, and I thought... ready.

But I remember getting into the office on my first day. I remember just sitting there at my desk thinking, "Uh oh, I have no idea what to do now. I could get the job but to actually do the job, well, that was another story. I couldn't know, at that time, what the next year would hold for me, but it was a huge and vital learning experience. So I've compiled a brief list of things that I have gathered and learned over the years that has helped me at the beginning of a new job. Now this is not an exhaustive list - but I hope that it's at least helpful. By the way, today is my first full day of work at Trinity Church in Greenwich, CT. So this is a reminder for me as well.

#1. Take Them Up On It.
When you start a new position, inevitably you'll have an elder or a leader come up to you and say, "we are so glad you're here, if there is ever anything I can do, just let me know." Now I have heard this line so many times but rarely have I ever done anything about it, until about 5 years ago when I was working at my last church. The head elder came up to me and said those magic words. Previously I never did anything about it but for some reason I looked at him and said, "OK, can you get me 100 volunteers?" He said, "pardon me?" "Yeah, can you get me 100 volunteers over the next 3 months?" See, he knew everyone and I knew no one. And I had favor - they loved me, we were still in the honeymoon period and I hadn't screwed up yet - but I had tried getting volunteers in the past and I wasn't so good at it. So I took advantage of the situation and within 3 months he had recruited 120 volunteers for the youth ministry. Amazing! On my own I never would have been able to do that. So number one, take them up on it, whatever "it" is.

#2. Get To Know The Lay Of The Land.
Today I met with an intern who is finishing up the summer and then moving back home in the fall. I just asked him to give me the good, the bad, and the horrible. By the way, there was a lot of horrible... BUT, it's important for me, and you, to get as many perspectives and point of views from as many people as possible. Don't come in with guns blazing without first learning the environment and studying the culture. Be a student of that context, then contextualize the gospel and ministry methods for that specific place (don't carbon copy things you've done in the past - dream new dreams for that new place).

#3. Go After Them.
Get a list of students from the administrator, volunteers, parents, other students and compile it into categories (potential student leaders; occasional attenders; regular crowd students, etc...). Go after the students who are leaders and make either meetings with them in smaller groups or have a few larger group meetings giving them vision and ownership of the ministry (ownership doesn't mean control - it means partnership - if you give students all control, that's what's called abandonment
- too much control by you or by them is abandonment). But, its important that you start building trust and allow God to knit your hearts together with the students. This is a journey, its a mission that you get to go on together.

#4. Volunteer Revolution.
I mentioned in #1 one method for getting volunteers, and you must. PLEASE know this - you must get knew faces, you must keep old faces, and you must clean house a bit (we'll talk more about this on #6). Forget about ratio - get as many adults as you can who love students and Jesus. Get nuns, waiters, college students, the elderly, parents, basket weavers, pilots, lawyers, teachers, rich people, poor people, tall people, little people - ANYONE who loves Jesus and who loves students. You can never have enough adults pouring their lives into our youth.

Fuller Seminary just did a study that followed hundreds of students for four years. What they found was that a student, in order to maintain their faith, needs at least 5 christian adults dedicated and partnering together to develop and love that student through the years. 5 ADULTS! Go after it! But, don't just take anyone and you may need to get rid of some... more on that later.

#5. It's All About Who You Know.
Find out who the key people are in the church. People who love the church, love youth ministry, and have some clout (this might even be the search committee who found you). Maybe form a group of advisors and meet with them once a week. You want them to be your eyes and ears, but also your voice. Your going to need as much support as you can get, especially for step 6.

#6. Blow Stuff Up.
So, this one is controversial. I was taught by my professor and by many who have gone before me that in the first year you shouldn't make any programmatic changes. "Don't do anything too drastic in the first year," they would tell me. But after 20 years of doing this, here is what I have found. No matter what you do, even if you don't change a thing, but just keep running the same old programs you inherited, some people will be unhappy. Why? Because you're not the previous leader. They will say, "I don't like youth group anymore because its all different." You'll think to yourself, "But I haven't changed a thing!"

Know this, it has changed, because a group will get their identity (at least partially) from their leader - and you're not her! So you might as well blow stuff up... graciously and with wisdom. What you'll find out is, many students are longing for change - they're ready for a new start. So get them on board, share the vision, and run. Start over. When you hear, "hey, that's not the way we used to do it." Just respond, "I know, and the way it used to be was amazing, but God is doing something knew and I would love you to help with it." So go blow "s" up.

#7. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
Communicate to parents (meetings and emails and letters), to fellow staff members, to your supervisor, to the pastor, to your mom - basically everyone. You carry the vision, you're the keeper of the play book and plan. Great leaders lead in three ways: down, across, and up. Lead down to the students and volunteers, across to your peers, and up to your supervisors. Lead, give vision, tell why your doing what your doing and ask them to get your back -- and keep doing this non-stop.

Always tell stories, walk and tell the administrator, the janitor, basically everyone - tell them a story of God working in the life of a teenager and how the ministry is seeing awesome things and how they can be praying. Stories, stories, stories. That way, when negative feedback is heard, the people you have carried the vision to and told stories to will say, "hold on, I've heard God's doing amazing things!"

#8. Thick Skin, Loving And Warm Heart, Plus Balls.
Transitions are difficult - for everyone, not just you. You'll need a thick skin for when negative feedback is thrown out - and it will be. Remember who you are and that God's hand is upon you. Don't give people too much power. I worked for a guy who either would make my day or break it. If he liked my work I felt like a million bucks. If he hated it, I felt like crap. Don't give people that much power - remember who you are and how God sees you.

You'll also need a loving and warm heart. Don't forget how much God loves these people - this is why he has called you there. Love them - even the ones who hurt you -- love them. Help them experience the warmth of God by your very presence and words.

And thirdly, you'll need to have balls. Yes I said it - balls. Guts is required for leaders who work in the church (really anywhere though). You'll need to make some tough decisions, maybe ask some leaders to step down, make program changes, dream bigger dreams. This is going to take guts, balls. Big ones.

The Power of Forgiveness for a Daughter Named Mckenzie and a Dad Named Brock

2010-07-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know, we became parents to a 16 year old girl named Mckenzie this past year. She is so amazing and we have seen her life transformed, her mind renewed, and her head lifted. But I think the real story is how we have been changed. She has brought me to Jesus in such a huge way. It began with Kelsey and I feeling just flat out desperate for God to do a work in Mckenzie's life. There have been days where the burden for her was a constant ache in my bones. It's like, we weren't getting anywhere with her and so all we could do is pray - on our own we were seeing no progress or healing in her life. But what has been so cool has been the little breakthroughs in her life since this past January. Little successes, little movements, little steps - all moving her closer and closer to who she really is. Seeing this has changed my life.

A couple of weeks ago she came up to me and said that she had forgiven her step father, Louis (the man who has basically raised her). Now I have been praying for this forever! See, Mckenzie hasn't been able to move forward very easily because of the crap that she's been carrying over her past. I've been praying that God would just free her, that he would take all of her burdens so that she could run into her future without the junk dragging her down and slowing her pace.

So, she was at houseboats camp and the worship band was leading them in the song, How He Loves. And she just began to cry over how much Jesus loves her - then she felt God speaking to her and the conversation went like this:

Jesus: Do you know how much I love you?

Mckenzie: I'm beginning to.

Jesus: I love you so much!

Mckenzie: I know!

Jesus: Do you know that I love Louis just as much as I love you?

Mckenzie: What?

Jesus: Yes, I love Louis so much, just as much as I love you. And I have forgiven him just like I have forgiven you.

Mckenzie: Lord, help me to forgive him.

She said that immediately she felt love for Louis. Did you get that? She felt love towards the man who has hurt her over and over again. I just have to say this, God is amazing and maybe he loves to forgive us because it frees him to love us. My prayer is that I would, and you would - that we would be set free to love. That we would follow Jesus' lead and forgive and then love.

Tears in the back

2010-07-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I woke up at the horrific hour of 2am to get ready and drive down to Lake Shasta. We were heading there to pick up students from houseboat's camp and bring 'em home. On the road back home I moved around the bus listening to stories of the week - the fun, the adventure, and the overwhelming God moments. I laughed so hard at the stories and cried (in a very manly way) as kids told me what God had done in their lives. I was amazed.

Sunday morning the students ran the entire service at the church. I got the slide show ready and took my seat in the back of the auditorium. I sat and watched students worshipping, praying, and sharing about what God had done. Honestly, I think Youth Sunday should be every Sunday!

But, towards the end of the service my 2 daughters got up and shared. My oldest talked about God healing her from sickness and how this was seriously miraculous. She, with such confidence and faith, spoke of a loving God who cared so deeply for her and how the prayers of students and leaders were heard. Then my 13 year old daughter Dancin got up to the mic. I watched her begin to cry before she even spoke a word. And I, sitting there in the back, was in awe as I watched her share her heart with the congregation. All I could do is quietly watch and allow the tears to run down my face.

She spoke about how God had given her a verse. She was having her quiet time and felt like God was asking her to give something up. That she was to make a sacrifice. And then God whispered a verse in her ear. She just felt compelled to open her Bible to Ephesians 5:1 - Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. ² Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

She was blown away by how the verse was about Jesus given himself up and God had just told her to give something up. What was that something? For her, it was fear.

She has been afraid to move. I have been without a pay check since October - it's been really tough, but we've just kept ministering as best we can. But I have had to go and look for work. We will be moving July 26th and heading to Greenwich, CT - just outside New York City. But the whole idea of moving has been very hard on Dancin.

My daughter, she stood up there crying and sharing her heart - and I, sat there in the back and wept. I started crying and I couldn't stop. My daughter had chosen to go ahead and give up her fear and to just trust in the Lord. And so I write this to tell you... me to. I choose to trust. I choose to say yes to Jesus anytime he asks me to say something, to go somewhere, whatever - I say yes!

10 Worst Christian Songs Ever

2010-06-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

OK, I actually am a huge fan of Christian music. My dad was a youth pastor in the 80's and every Friday I would come home to find that he had put a new cassette tape on my bed of the latest Christian band. So I never want to be too cynical or too critical of Christian music... =) I mostly listen to music that helps make me be awake and aware of God. But over the years there have been some pretty bad songs written and performed in the name of Jesus. I recently heard a song on christian radio that got me thinking that I needed to compile a list of some of my most hated Christian songs ever... This was actually very difficult and I'm sure I am missing a lot, but maybe you can help me. Now please, let's have a sense of humor here - no one needs to get angry... here we go:

10. The Gaither Vocal Band - Why Me Lord. This was a huge hit originally by Kris Kristofferson in the early 70's. It became so big that every Christian music act started singing it all across the country. My parents were in a band in the 70's and they actually put it on one of their albums as a joke (they had their drummer sing it, a guy that can't sing... hilarious version). But I had to include it even though many won't remember it.

9. Stryper - To Hell with the Devil. Ok, many of you will kill me over this - especially you 80's music freaks. But let's just be honest here- the title alone makes you laugh. Enough said...

8. Petra - Lord I lift Your Name on High. Now, obviously this is not an original Petra song, but I thought I would go ahead and hit two birds with one stone. There are a lot of Petra songs that I actually listened to and liked as a kid (I especially loved the album This Means War when I was 15). But, when Petra started doing worship music, it just hurt a little. I always disliked the song, but the Petra version is so bad that you just have to listen it.

7. Newsboys - Breakfast. "When the toast has burned and all the milk has turned and Captain Crunch is waving farewell. When the Big One finds you may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in Hell." This is one of their biggest hits and when they perform it, 40 year olds who loved the Newsboys back in the early 90's throw Captain Crunch cereal at the band while they perform... I guess this is when you know you've made it... good stuff!

6. DC Talk - Heaven Bound - Now, I actually love DC Talk and I have seen them in concert so many times - they really put on a great show. But this song off of their first album is not their best showing. It's actually the best song on that first album, but that's not saying much.

5. Ray Boltz - The Altar. This was Ray's attempt to have another hit song like, Thank You. But it doesn't quite make it... It actually makes me feel like I need to go brush my teeth - it's just way to sappy, syrupy, and pretentious...

4. Chris Rice - The Cartoon Song. Chris Rice is actually awesome but I don't know what he was thinking. Can't we just erase this and have a do over?

3. Avalon - Knocking on Heaven's Door. To take a Guns-N-Roses song and turn it into a Christian song, well...

2. Sonseed - Jesus is my Friend. Many of us have just become aware of this band and so this wasn't a song that I was aware of until more recently. Their name Sonseed...hmmm... Awkward.

1. Carman - The Soap Song. Every once in a while a Christian musician gets the idea to take pop culture and twist the words a bit and make a song or whatever, "Christian" (i.e. "this blood is for you," instead of, "this bud is for you" - from a beer commercial - Carman actually does this in his song "This Blood"). Carman, who could be on this list multiple times, out does himself with the Soap Song. He wrote a song with day-time soap opera titles to get his Christian message out there. God help us all!

Numbers - Is this the Measure of Success for Youth Ministry???

2010-06-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

Numbers: It's a very interesting topic. It brings out a variety of responses and justifications: Numbers provides us with a measuring stick in seeing how effective we are being; it tells us if kids are happy and being engaged; banks require this of us for non-profit status and for other areas of business; it indicates programatically if we are on track.

These are just a few responses I have heard over the years.

Honestly, I don't want to write a whole bunch on this topic because I think it's completely the wrong starting point. Many youth workers around the country are being fired like never before because of numbers being the measuring stick for success - the biggest problem with this is that youth culture has changed so dramatically and basing ministry on numbers is just horrible theology. If numbers were the criteria, Jesus would have been in trouble. His ministry started small, quickly grew (success right?), but he had a HUGE back door - people walked out and completely stopped showing up. They not only stopped coming but they also decided to kill him. Everyone left and so Jesus is there with just 12 people, 12 - about the average size youth group in the country. Those 12, changed the world. I wonder if the largest youth ministries in the country are actually the least effective? If Jesus were in my city, I just might have a bigger youth group than him. Why? Because he always seemed to say and do and require unpopular things. The rich young ruler would feel comfortable in my youth group but in Jesus', not so much.

I just think it is so important to change the criteria. Youth Workers, lets get in the ball game here and wake up. A vast majority of students are leaving the faith when they graduate from high school, primarily because we never gave them a faith worth much to begin with. Ministry that draws large numbers is shallow, almost by definition. But students in 11th grade and older are leaving our churches in droves, not because they don't have fun at youth group, but because they are longing for something more and we aren't giving it to them. Shallow is no longer in. It might draw a room full of kids but it won't keep them. Students are dying for a life worth living - it's time we give it to them.

You can count heads - but really - the heads that we should be counting are the ones who are 28 years old, who grew up in our ministries, whose faith is informing every decision they are making: the careers they choose, the spouses they pick, the way they raise their children, etc... You want a barometer for success? Then start there.

Just click on the picture to see it all...

2010-05-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

Does God Need Us?

2010-05-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

http://asbojesus.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/20b.jpg

Bat Mitzvah - A Beautiful Rite of Passage

2010-05-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

So when my daughter was born 13 years ago, I knew this day would come. It's funny, I've been been looking forward to it and dreading it all at this same time. And I knew that we had to do some kind of rite of passage for her, something that would tell her who she really is, what she was made for, and to call her to come and join us in running after Jesus.

Now, a few months ago we also have become family with a 16 year old girl. She is amazing and we wanted to do the same kind of thing for her. So last night we put together a Bat Mitzvah. Bat Mitzvah means "Daughter of God's Word" or "Daughter of God's Law." This is who they are - their true Father is the creator of the world, the king of the universe, and he looks at them with a deep loving tenderness - They are His and they are called to listen intently to His word and to pattern their lives after them.

So for all you youth workers out there or parents looking for a ceremony or a marker in your kids lives - here is what we did: (warning - we all cried throughout the entire deal)

6:30pm - Celebration Meal

7:15 - Ceremony begins (cody play guitar as we enter the room)

7:20 - Introduction and the lighting of the candle representing that God is here

7:23 - 2 worship songs

7:30 - A Blessing for Grandpa (this was one of the most moving parts of the evening - he blessed them with peace, adventure, purity, a hunger for God's word, leadership, identity...)

7:35 - Slide Show (girls from birth to the present)

7:40 - Affirmation from youth pastor

7:45 - Prayer over girls focusing on identity

7:50 - 1 worship song

7:53 - The covenant - an agreement between those in the room and the girls - all of this before God

7:56 - The giving of the identity necklaces with scriptures (I chose Is. 43 for McKenzie and 1 Peter 2:9-10 for Dancin - we also put the scriptures in frames for the girls)

8:05 - Grandma - closing prayer over girls

8:08 - Girls share

8:15 - Dessert to celebrate

Should Christians Oppose Arizona's Immigration Law?

2010-05-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

Jenny Hwang argues why Christians should oppose Arizona's new immigration law. http://bit.ly/cKTlBT

Bono’s Subliminal Eccelsiology

2010-05-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine wrote this some time ago... thought I'd post it - its good stuff! Thanks Brian...

We all know Bono from the megaband U2, my favorite band btw, has always walked on the fringe of Christianity. I love him because he can’t be pigeonholed into any particular denominational or theological bent, and he always seems to piss mainstream conservative Christians off. I know I shouldn’t like that, but I do find it amusing.

Anyways, if you have not listened closely to the words on their latest album, No Line on the Horizon, you’re really missing out on some incredible lyrics. This album is so overtly “Christian” that I don’t know how U2 gets away with it. If you doubt me, then I’ll just throw out a little portion of the song Magnificent:

Justified till we die
You and I will magnify
Oh, the magnificent
Magnificent
Magnificent

I hate when I ramble so I need to get to the point. The first single released from the new album was a catchy pop tune called “Get on Your Boots”. On a long drive from Florida back to Dallas I decided to listen to each song off this album over and over again. I’m so glad I did this. Get on Your Boots is a song about the Church’s role in our present time with a typical battle cry from Bono for us to get on our Boots – a metaphor for living out our faith with action. He has long believed in Christians being active in their communities and the world. His social commentary has always resonated with me and my dislike for the “country club” mentality of evangelical churches who spend millions of dollars on new church buildings, programs, and pretty much anything but the poor, vulnerable, and voiceless people throughout the world. And, this song is no exception. You will really need to listen to the whole song to get what I’m saying here, but I don’t want to copy the whole song so check out this little snippet:

Hey, sexy boots
Get on your boots, yeah

Here’s where we gotta be
Love and community
Laughter is eternity
If joy is real

You don’t know how beautiful
You don’t know how beautiful you are
You don’t know and you don’t get it, do you
No, you don’t know how beautiful
You don’t know
You don’t know how beautiful you are

To me, these are words that every church should chew on. It’s long overdue for our churches to step up and get our boots on. We’ll need boots because it’s gonna be messy work – providing clean water, feeding the poor, ending poverty, stopping AIDS, saving marriages, changing lives, etc, etc… But, we also have to realize, as churches, just how beautiful we are. We are the Bride of Christ and we have the only message that will truly make a difference in the world. We are the physical existence of Christ on the earth today. Do you ever think about how beautiful that is? How beautiful you are?

Now you might think that I’m stretching this stuff a bit – you know, seeing what I want to see in the lyrics. Well, we all do it. But, recently I’ve been loving this book called “The Hole in our Gospel” by Richard Stearns. And out of the blue there’s this quote from Bono in it. Unrelated to the album or any song he’s written he says, “The Jubilee Movement wasn’t a bless-me club; it wasn’t a holy huddle. These religious guys were willing to get on the streets, get their boots dirty, wave the placards and follow their convictions with actions. Making it very hard for people like me to keep their distance. It was amazing. I almost started to like these church people.”

So there you have it. I knew I was on to something when I listened to the song, but then I read this quote. I believe Bono sees the modern evangelical church as an insecure teenager. In reality we are as beautiful as we could be, but we’re so worried about our looks, our programs, and our budget that we miss the opportunity to be a strategic part of God’s reconciliation mission – bringing the Kingdom.

You are beautiful, you are Jesus on this earth, empowered with the Holy Spirit. So, go get on your boots and start being Jesus to this world! Thanks Bono for the reminder!

Just a Thought...

2010-05-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

"The opposite of faith isn't doubt, the opposite of faith is certainty."

-Anne Lamott

The Infamous Pit In Stomach

2010-04-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ministry… honestly is a crazy thing. We give our lives to people, we're burdened for them, we pray for them, invest in them; it's all consuming and it’s a roller coaster ride. It’s an extremely vulnerable world, the world of ministry.

The last few days I have had a pit in my stomach, a nervous, anxious kind of pain. I feel it not just in my stomach but also in my muscles and in my limbs. I can’t really explain it, but if you have ever been in ministry, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It can come from an array of things, places, and people. You hear about a student who has walked away from the faith, a parent who is upset with something that you said, or a leader who has verbalized to others that they don’t like the direction the church is going. Then, well, cue the pit in stomach…

This morning I drove my daughters to school and normally we sing, we pray, laugh, and I give them vision for their day. But today, I don’t think I was even in the car. My mind was somewhere else, putting someone in their place… =)

I do love ministry, but I hate ministry. Why do these things at times have such power over us? Brennan Manning talks about the imposter who comes and speaks lies to us and for those of us in ministry, lies do come.

But rest in this: God loves us and He is with us. I love the passage in 1 Peter, “cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.” Peter knew anxiety and he knew insecurity and he knew what it was to give your life to people only to get negative feedback… But he had also experienced Jesus caring for him and giving him rest; rest from the thoughts, the lies, and the haunting words.

We are not alone, we are in this thing together. I love finding out I am not the only one – I love finding out that there are others who are sharing their lives and carrying the weight of ministry. So keep running and let a smile come to your face knowing that you are not the only one who can’t sleep, who isn’t present, who aches inside… For those of you in ministry – keep serving, loving, and know – you’re not alone!

Questions are the Enemy...???

2010-04-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit troubled as I write todays blog. I have found that in a lot of American churches, we can't seem to disagree or express differing ideas, perspective, or thoughts that question current paradigms, thinking, or values. When did the church loose its curiosity and adventurous side?

I recently quoted someone who made a thoughtful and intriguing political statement that on the surface would seem to lean more liberal or at least more moderate. The response I got was funny (kind of) - like questions or differing opinions are going to bring the church and more importantly, America, to an end.

Stay with me here. As a youth worker I have always tried to help students discover a faith that is real, authentic, relevant, and thoughtful. The beauty of youth ministry is journeying with students as they question, doubt, and wrestle with the ideas, concepts, and theology of the world they currently are living in. A student who is in the middle of the adolescent journey must ask questions like, "If I lived in a different place, like India, would I believe something different?" "Am I a Christian just because my parents are and what if they are wrong?" "How do we really know what is true?" "Do I have to be republican if I become a Christian?" (seems silly but a student actually asked me this last week) These are beautiful questions that lead students into deeper questions, questions that must be preserved. I have always seen myself as the keeper of the questions. Why? Because I want to teach kids how to think not what to think. See, these are the type of questions that must be asked and wrestled with, but what I've noticed is this - many don't allow kids (or anyone) to wrestle, think, and discover truth slowly.

In American Christianity, questions seem to be the enemy.

Let's be honest, for the most part, when a student or anyone for that matter, questions, we feel upset, nervous, and a little offended. We feel we must defend the faith or our particular political or theological leanings. But what if questions were the very means that move us to a more relevant faith? What if God was in the questions, working? For most of us, we feel like we must give them answers that will stop their questions.

Somehow we believe that questions will move kids further from the faith rather than closer and more intimately connected to it.

Let me give you a classic example of this. Here are some thoughts that I may or may not have - lets see how they sit with you.

What if someone looked at todays church and noticed some things. And these things were a stumbling block for them following Jesus. Let's say they looked at how Christianity has linked itself with a political party and how it has been trumpeting what is called "conservative family values," but they observed how we have minimized biblical community values. They asked you why the church seems to support wars of choice, defend torture, oppose environmental protection, and care more about protecting the rich from taxes than liberating the poor from poverty and minorities from racism.

They look at you and say that the church, that at least is on the radio and television, seems to protect the unborn human life inside the womb (which is good), but it seems like it doesn't care about born human life in the slums or prisons or nations they consider enemies. Their questions continue and you feel yourself becoming defensive and a bit offended.

They say that the church loves to paint gay people as a threat to marriage, seeming to miss the irony that heterosexual people were damaging marriage at a furious pace without the help of gay couples. The church, they say, seems to be against big government, as if big was bad, yet they seemed to be for big military and big business as inherently good. They go on to say that the church seems to interpret the Bible to favor the government of Israel and to marginalize Palestinians. They use the word "seems" a lot because they don't want to offend and "seem" like they are attacking you personally.

What do you say? Do you defend and shut down conversation or do you continue the line of questioning or say something like, "yeah, what you're saying, there is truth there" - giving validity to their thinking. Helping them stay engaged and exploding their paradigm of how christians interact and think. Or do you defend, push back, and set the record straight?

Here's what I feel when I hear these questions... I'm intrigued by the conversation, the line of thinking... but I fear that most of us feel angry, defensive, and here's the worst part, we label these people and throw them away relationally. We call them flaming liberals and disassociate with them. We leave and go tell our "christian" friends about how some liberal wack job was so ignorant and basically an idiot - probably going to hell. And what is crazy, we are more offended by differing political views more than we are theological (its so good not to be offended by differing theological thinking) - which is why I chose to use politics as the analogy.

Here's what I have discovered over the last 20 years in ministry. When I minister from a humble posture and from a curious and thoughtful place - I see more people become engaged in the conversation. They don't write the faith off because they initially see us squirm or flinch. We sit there and keep the conversation going, we are the keeper of the questions - we instigate questions. Why? Because when we question, we own the conversation and become seekers of truth. And truth belongs to God and always points to his son Jesus.

I know I'm all over the place with this blog - but I'm bothered by the climate of the church today. I love the journey though. I love seeing kids discover truth. I love when people see that Christianity is bigger than what they hear on the radio. I love when we respectfully disagree and I love how each of us see things differently. I love when my friends challenge me in love. And I love when mine and their questions cause us to wonder, to be in awe of this God who is sooo big!

N.T. Wright

2010-03-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

Over ten years ago a friend of mine introduced me to an amazing historian/theologian by the name of N.T. Wright. Since then I have read everything I can get my hands on by him. So many of my friends and many around the world have been so influenced by him and what I love best is that he doesn't fit into any system or theological paradigm. He thinks out of the Christian boxes that constrict and keep us from seeing Scripture for what it is really saying. Anyways, here are some of my favorite quotes by Wright. Enjoy!

N.T. WRIGHT QUOTES, SAYINGS, AND A PRAYER

“Heaven is important, but its not the end of the world.”

“The Biblical vision is not so much concerned with life after death but about life after life after death.”

“Wherever St. Paul went, there was a riot. Wherever I go, they serve tea.”

“The word ‘gospel,’ in Paul’s world, meant the accession of Caesar. And when Tiberius or Nero came to power, the imperial heralds did not go around saying, ‘There is this new experience you might like to try on for size, namely, you might like to give allegiance to Caesar if that suits you and if that’s where you are right now in your own personal journey.’ No, they said, ‘Tiberius is emperor! Get down on your knees!’”

“God is not very concerned with the method by which rulers come to power; He is passionately and compassionately concerned with what they do once they attain power.”

(In response to those who tell him, “I don’t believe in God”) “Really? Which god is it that you don’t believe in?”

“My proposal is not that we understand what the word ‘god’ means and manage somehow to fit Jesus into that. Instead, I suggest that we think historically about a young Jew, possessed of a desperately risky, indeed apparently crazy, vocation, riding into Jerusalem in tears, denouncing the Temple, and dying on a Roman cross--and that we take our courage in both hands and allow our meaning for the word ‘god’ to be recentered around that point.”

“Jesus did not ‘know he was God’ in the same way one knows one is male or female, hungry or thirsty, or that one ate an orange an hour ago. His ‘knowledge’ was of a more risky, but perhaps more significant, sort: like knowing one is loved. One cannot ‘prove’ it except by living it.”

(About being bald) “When you get to be my age, you only have so many hormones left, and if you want to use yours to grow hair on the top of your head, that’s fine.”

“Almighty Father, maker of Heaven and Earth, set up your Kingdom in our midst. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us sinners. Holy Spirit, Breath of the Living God, renew us and all the world.”

Fatherhood

2010-02-24T09:51:00.001-08:00

It looks like I'm a father for the second time. I'll tell you more about this soon

The Sickness Is Myself

2010-01-24T09:01:00.000-08:00

I had one of those conversations the other day with a high school student. If you're a youth worker you've probably had hundreds of these. But as he was sharing about the choices that he had been making recently, I sat there thinking, "why does every generation have to keep falling into the same traps, producing the same mistakes, and making a mess of their lives?" Honestly, I have been in youth ministry for almost 20 years, and I have never said this before, in fact I've avoided it, but this generation of students are struggling like never before (I avoided sounding old and acting as if my generation didn't have problems... the good old days are never as good as we think they were). But the reality is this, we have at risk kids because we have at risk adults raising them. But here is what's so cool. As this student was telling me his long list of sins, and I might add, in a nonchalant manner, I simply said, "me too!" I told him that I was guilty of the same kind of stuff and that I was in desperate need of God to change me, to keep changing me, and to never stop changing me." He sat their stunned, blown away. It was kind of a miracle, not me seeing my sin, but me sitting their thinking how screwed up this kid was - and then it just hit me. I'm just as guilty and he needed to see me confess and to acknowledge that this wasn't normal, that this was not the best way to live, or close to acceptable. It wasn't even fulfilling... We sat there and pledged together to pursue Jesus and his way with all of our hearts.

I dropped him off at his house and drove away and flipped the stereo on full volume. I can do this when my wife isn't in the car and wanting to talk... But what came on was so cool. The new Switchfoot record, Hello Hurricane, was playing a song called, Mess Of Me. Here are some of the lyrics that truly resonated in my heart: there ain't no drug, to make me well, there ain't no drug, it's not enough, the sickness is myself. I made a mess of me. I want to get back the rest of me. I made a mess of me. I want to spend the rest of my life alive.

That last line just rang in my heart and mind. I want to spend the rest of my life alive.

That's it! I want my students to truly live and I want to have the guts to do it myself and show them the way of Jesus. To live it out and then to just ask them to come along for the ride.

I love Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I want to build upon what those who have gone before us built. I want my students to build upon my life and what I'm building.

And so, it's just this: I want to represent and extend the reign of God - which means, He must actually reign in MY life - He must be Lord. And I think I'm ready!

A piece I wrote in Marko's new Middle School Ministry book

2009-12-06T16:30:00.001-08:00

It was the fall semester of 1984; I was dressed in my short shorts and high socks, just getting ready for PE, when Cody Owens, a fellow 7^th grader, proudly showed us his one armpit hair… that was 12 inches long, 12 inches! He said he was thinking about trimming it – we all yelled, “NO WAY, its amazing, leave it alone!” I had another friend who had a full amount of hair in his right armpit, but in his left armpit? Completely bald. Ah, Jr. High, those were the good old days. They were the best of times and the worst of times. I guess that’s why I’ve spent so many years as a youth worker with this age group. I love the passion, the naivety, the drama, the energy, the innocence, and the… well, the brain damage.

As a young youth pastor I took 65 Jr. High students to Palm Springs, CA. When we arrived I knew I was in big trouble. We had rented condominiums that were way too nice for a Jr. High retreat. Immediately I had a pit in my stomach and told everyone that if anything bad happened to these beautiful condos, that very possibly they could lose their salvation.

Within an hour all hell broke loose. The pastor’s son, a curious and creative 8^th grade boy with a bad case of brain damage, came out of the bathroom and threw, what appeared to be a paper lunch sack at his buddy, who by the way, was standing right next to me. When the bag hit his friend, brown stuff exploded all over his him, me, the wall, and the ceiling. We soon found out that the brown stuff was excrement (yep…).

Immediately a fight broke out between these two 8^th grade boys, one of which was covered in poop. The pastor’s son couldn’t believe that his friend would get so upset (like I mentioned, brain damage). I said, “Dude, You Threw Poop At Him!” Within 20 minutes all was good, they made up and later that night at program we played the chocolate pudding in the diaper game. Fun times…

The reality though is that I love this age. I love what God does in the midst of chaos. I love that I feel so out of control and I love how God surprises me and changes the hearts of kids that I swear, have never sat still a day in their life. I love the dreams and the passion and the vulnerability. You know it’s funny, I really need them in my life, maybe even more than they need me. Every time I hang out with a Jr. High student their zeal for life seems to rub off onto me. I need what they have and I wish it came natural to me. I guess we kind of need each other, don’t we? They need our wisdom to get them through the chaos, to guide them into life and into true living. And we need them to guide us back to passion, to stir within us curiosity, to be reminded how to play again, and to revisit the calling of childlike faith.

I’m blown away by how God has changed my life through the most unlikely of people. I’m so moved by how God has opened my eyes and softened my heart through these ragtag misfits. And what’s amazing is that I have discovered that I’m actually the misfit and they have taken me in.

Dream a Little Dream Part Deux

2009-11-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

In a previous post with a similar title I spoke about the passion I have to see God change a people, a city, and a region. I have such a huge desire to see this happen. I long to live in a city and truly be a blessing to it. I long to train youth workers to do youth ministry differently - To be a part of a city and to help contribute to the remedy by serving with no agenda. To invest into the lives of students and to give them a story, something bigger than themselves to be a part of. Not to just talk to kids about making a difference and about being light to the world but to actually do it ourselves and to call them along for the ride.

We moved to Salem Oregon over two years ago with this passion, this dream. I have to tell you something, dreams can be difficult, they can down right suck. Not just any dreams mind you, but big dreams, dreams that are out of your hands. Dreams that require money, unified workers, endurance, and behind it all, God. These kind of dreams consume you and they keep you on your knees.

I have had dreams in the past of growing a youth group or speaking nationally or writing books... These dreams are great - why? because they're all about me. I like dreams about me. But when the dream you have is offensive to the enemy, the imposter, who will do everything to keep light from conquering darkness - well then, that dream is a wonderful nightmare. Its wonderful because its from God but its a nightmare because at every corner you face problems, heartache, stress, temptation, drama, and sleepless nights. Its wonderful and awful all at the same time and I wouldn't change a thing about coming here and pursuing this dream.

We went a year without pay for this dream and when we got paid, it was way too short of what we needed. Finances can be a pain in the ass, can't they?! But recently things have been coming together, the stars have been aligning, and I felt like maybe we were over the hump.

But last Tuesday I was called in for a meeting with My father, the pastor and an elder. They sat in front of me and told me the financial situation the church has been in. Our church is losing $12,000 per month - the economy has killed our congregation. They looked at me, with tears in their eyes and told me they were going to have to lay me and another pastor off. I have never been laid off before, let alone by my father, but I have to tell you - I felt peace - a weird kind of peace.

So what about the dream? I don't know but I can tell you I'm weary. I'm weary of carrying this thing on my own. I'm tired of not paying my bills. I'm tired of my wife being stressed and constantly having to give her vision for this mission. But right now as I write this I can tell you I still have that peace the passes all understanding. I trust the journey that God has us on. I trust this God who brought us to Oregon to heal our hearts from a bad church experience. I trust this God who has taught me the true meaning of faith.

The future? I have no idea but I'm open. Not too open though. See, I'm still dreaming about partnering with people who long to make impact (not just in a church - that's way too small) - impact in a way that is big, too big to do it on our own. I long to invest in young youth workers and I long to see teenagers heads lifted, their eyes open to an amazing God who has an amazing mission for them. I can't wait to do this - wherever and whatever this is. I'm ready!

What is going on?!

2009-10-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of my youth ministry carrier I started attending the Youth Specialties national convention every year. This convention feed my soul. I would venture to say that it was one of the only things that consistently gave me life, made me laugh, cry, and think and was my yearly retreat. There was a connection with those who ran it even though I didn't know them personally, I felt known, understood, and was given vision to head back into the trenches of youth ministry every fall. And what was so unlikely but a dream of mine, I was hired by them and placed on a team of creative writers, speakers, dreamers, and brilliant thinkers.

What grieves me is this company was sold a few years ago and since then we have gone through a whirl wind of changes. My hero and mentor Tic Long was fired a few months ago and just today, my good friend Marko (the president) was let go. I'm blown away!

Now the reality is that Youth Specialties is a for profit business and that is very different from a church - a subtle difference but a difference. But it reminded me of what has been happening in American Christianity and its been going on so frequently over the past few years, and not just in cut throat type companies. You would expect it there. But in christian organizations and more depressingly, in churches all over the place. Youth workers are treated like cogs in a machine - they can be used up and then thrown away. This is one of the reasons I don't want to leave youth ministry. I want to change the way we are viewed and support those who are being used and abused.

I hear constantly about churches who are letting go of people and this revolving door has become the norm. What is going on here?!

How do we see those we hire or those we work for? We should be called to each other. We should be in it for the long hall. I am sickened by disunity and the infighting that is happening in the church today.

I am a part of a church that has had its share of recent drama and I know what it is like to be fired and mistreated. I also know what it is to fire someone and be on the other side of this whole thing. I think it all is sad to God. We are to be known for our unity. The unity of the believers - this is how the world will know that the message of Jesus is true.

I'm not sure what the message of this blog is though. I guess I'm just tired. I am tired of walking into meetings where someone has it out for me. I'm tired of having to watch my back. I'm tired of seeing my friends mistreated. And I am tired all of this happening within the church.

I think I'm just going to go and reread Phil. 2 again.

Away in the Philippines

2009-10-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

I'll be away in the Philippines for the rest of the month. I'll try to post something at the end of the month. Thanks!

Dream a Little Dream

2009-10-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

I think its very interesting how we manage our dreams. I don't mean the dreams that we have while sleeping, I mean the things we long to see happen or the desires we have for our lives and for the world. I think for the most part, we either pursue them or we try hard to forget about them because, for whatever reason, we've lost hope in accomplishing them. For me, my dreams have been a difficult thing. This is probably because of the nature and the complexity of my current dreaming.

When I was young and at the beginning of my ministry career, my dreams were manageable. Honestly, my dream wasn't original and it was pretty small. I just wanted to be a youth pastor in a big church with a lot of students. It was all about size and influence. I looked up to youth workers who were older and yet relevant. They were making impact in student's lives, parent's lives, and in the lives of volunteers and interns. It's funny, it's not that I don't want these things, I just want more.

The dreams that are keeping me awake now seem to be out of my hands. I remember laughing at the old joke of how the beauty pagent contestant would always answer the question of what she wishes for with that tired line, "I just want world peace." We all think, "how stupid is she! World peace?!" My dream isn't really world peace (although, that would be awesome!), its just to see a city changed - which to me seems initially ridiculous and naive to pursue. BUT MAYBE GOD DOES WANT TO CHANGE A CITY! The thought at times though seems overwhelming and I feel so out of my depth.

So here it is: I want my sphere of influence to be in my city - not just in my church. I long to give my life away to a city in need and to call youth workers and students along for the ride. Maybe this is true discipleship - giving your life away to a cause and calling people to join you. This, I guess, would be cause driven ministry. I like the sound of that.

So my cause is to reach a city and disciple as many as I can in the process. Honestly, the thought of this brings mixed feelings inside of me - I'm stoked and afraid at the same time. For a while I tried to forget this dream because it seemed too big and the finances really knocked the wind out of me. It takes a lot of staff and resources to do what we want to do.

I was journaling a few weeks ago and I just sensed God telling me that it was time to stop wishing the dream to come true and to just go make it happen. Meet with everyone I could and collaborate with as many like minded people as possible. For so long I've just sat on my ass waiting for a miracle. But I felt like God was saying, "this dream is my dream Brock, but you've got to get up and make this thing happen!" So here we go. In the last few weeks I have had so many meetings with amazing people and things are beginning to fall into place.

I'll tell you this, it just feels good to be dreaming again. To have hope. To get up and turn this dream into a reality. Here's my question for you: What are you dreaming about? And what is keeping you from dreaming or from running after your dreams. By the way, dreams are from God, especially the big ones that seem impossible.

I like what Walt Disney said, "It's kind of fun doing the impossible."

October Theme

2009-10-02T08:34:00.001-07:00

This Sunday is our Fall kick-off as a youth ministry. Normally we do this mid-september but we are experiencing massive changes and transitions as a church so it was postponed a couple of weeks. So I have had more time than usual to pray, seek, and dream about a theme for the fall and in particular the first few weeks. I was studying the book of Acts and in chapter 2 I saw four things that just jumped off the page. The people who first heard the good news of Jesus responded with action. The first thing they did was to repent, they turned from the junk and abandoned everything to join this new movement. Then they were baptized, showing the world that they belong to Jesus. That they were dying with him and being raised by him. After this they did two radical things: 1. they sold everything they owned. 2. they gave their money to the poor. Their faith and their radical commitment is inspiring - and it just leaped off the page at me.

Students are dying for a life worth living. They want their faith to impact their lives... otherwise, ya know what, forget it. I feel the same. So we are going to follow the way of the early church followers of Jesus. Week 1: We are going to repent. Week 2: have a baptism service. Week 3: Sacrifice by bringing goods to be sold. Week 4: Give away the money to a family in need.

The theme sounds so regimented and maybe a bit naive. But I feel like its from God. Repentance for me has been an ongoing, almost everyday kind of thing. So I will stand up this Sunday and begin this four week process - I will begin by calling all of us to repent of the junk that we have allowed to keep us from running after Jesus - the stuff that has hindered and slowed us down. I am looking forward to watching God change us. And I'm just going to trust him to do so.

Stuck In LAX

2009-09-28T12:01:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here with a plane delay trying to get home in time to watch my daughter's first cross country meet. When I first heard there was a problem I felt stress and a bit pissed off. So here I am, stuck in LAX.

It's funny, I've been stuck before. One time in 2nd grade I got stuck in a dryer. I have to admit, getting stuck, for me anyways, seems to be a regular thing. There was a time I was stuck in a church that was unsupportive and very oppressive. I was being micromanaged and I was miserable. At this church the pastor wouldn't let me do any speaking engagements. I had this passion and calling and God was opening doors for me to speak but the pastor refused to let me speak (even occasionally) unless it was on my vacation time. The atmosphere in the office was miserable and I, at times, felt hopeless. So many youth workers quit youth ministry because they just get so tired of getting pooped on. =)

I work now in a church that's super supportive. They see God's call on my life and they truly care about me. And I'm just sitting here feeling blessed. I'd rather be stuck in an airport than at a church that sees me as a threat not a partner, a tool not a friend, or a cog not a co-minister.

Something cool just happened. The delay is off and it looks like I'm going to see my daughter run after all. God is good!

The Call

2009-09-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

My dad was a youth pastor for many years and I remember that he and my mom each fall would head out to the Youth Specialties Convention. I remember this because they would always come home refreshed, with a new creative energy - and they would tell amazing stories from their time there. One year my older sister and I were flown out at the end of the convention - I couldn't have been more than 12 years old at the time. It was in San Francisco and it was the last night. See, back in the day, they would end with a big banquet and have a band, a comedian, or a speaker come. Now, why I remember this particular year so vividly is because the speaker was none other than musician Steve Taylor - the amazing alternative rock god and at that time, a huge hero of mine. His Meltdown cassette tape was in my walkman and I was in awe of him as he spoke. I even remember what he talked about. He spoke about the years he had been a youth worker and how challenging and frustrating and exhilarating they were. He spoke as if he was envious of those sitting in the audience. That he had bailed out and didn't quite have what it took to stay in the game. I honestly think that's when it happened. That's when I got my call. You see, there was a room full of youth workers, I didn't know so many even existed. I just thought it was something my parents did because, well, God only knows why. But there I was, surrounded by amazing, fun, passionate, radical youth workers - and Steve Taylor was encouraging these front line warriors. Steve Taylor, he looked tame next to my parents and all those there with this amazing call. These ragamuffins with light in the eyes and a heart to change youth culture one kid at a time.

You see, it hit me. A seed was planted. My world grew larger that night. It was a nudge from God - a little picture of my future.

I love what I do. I love students. I love youth workers. I am blown away every time I walk into a room full of these people - what a privilege to walk beside and with such amazing people. There have been times that I have felt like giving up - it really is a burden, it's a difficult road. But as Tom Hanks told Gina Davis in A League of Their Own, "If it were easy, then everyone would do it." I am full of gratitude to be a part of a movement. To be a part of what God is so passionate about. As David said in the Psalms, "Don't let me pass until I have preached to this next generation." And the generations just keep coming.

So I just printed out my flight information. I'm heading to Los Angeles for the Youth Specialties Convention. I doubt I'll see Steve Taylor but I'm not going there to be with him. It's a dangerous place being in a room full of youth workers, and I can't wait.

Bit Part Player

2009-09-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I am excited to be writing my first post. I have avoided blogging for a couple of years now but feel like it it's now time to begin. My simple prayer is this: to challenge and encourage whoever happens to stumble into this little site. So here's a thought:

I was thinking today, and I truly believe this, that together as the church, we can bring God's Kingdom to earth, here and now. By our very presence, and the work we do, we can bring God's light to some pretty dark places. It's funny but I have a longing to get earth ready for the return of Jesus. When He shows up, I want to be found busy at work.

I remember one day my dad and I decided to clean the house while my mom was out. I must have been about 9 years old at the time. Now I decided to start cleaning before my dad was ready to - I wanted to see how much I could get done before he showed up to do his part. So I worked my tail off all by myself. I remember how amazed he was when he saw how much I had accomplished while he was working in the garage.

I would love for Christ to return, to make everything right in the world only to find that we, as the church, made his job just a little bit easier. Maybe it's naivete or maybe it's just what Jesus is hoping for. But I do know this: together we can make a difference in this messy world. Even if its not much - I want to do my part. May you remember today that you can play a part (a bit part, but a part) in this amazing unfolding story of God.